Surrender -Tom kaulitz-

26.

"You need to come home, Mars." Kevin explained as we were talking on the phone. He had called me a second time after a few hours, when the boys left my room.

"I know..." My voice cracked. We have been on the phone for a moment now, and the consequences that I had been dreading were finally going to blow up in my face.

I thought that I was going to get away from my life for a bit by going with Tokio Hotel on their tour. But I knew my father was waiting for me back home, I knew my responsibilities were still right there. 

"You have to deal with the producers and the scholarship. You have to deal with your dad, you have to deal with everything here, so get your ass out of this tour. Your reputation is already fucked up with the videos that went viral, so just come home and we'll figure everything out."

Tears were drowning my face as I listened to him. "I'm scared, Kev..." I sobbed. "I don't want to come back. My life is shitty enough, I don't think I've ever felt this... safe in a long time."

"You can't just escape from your responsibilities like that, princess. You need to come home as soon as possible to figure your shit out. It's complicated for me to take care of your stuff without having you here with us. And this thing with your phone... I can't even contact you without having to pass by the hotel."

"I have a new number, I'll just read it out for you and you can call me through that." He tapped the number I dictated to him and we bid each other 'good nights' before I hung up.

It was almost two in the morning and I was exhausted and melancholic.

I really really reaally didn't want to come back to town. But I had to face my problems and the consequences of each and every one of my actions.

I was really grateful for the Tokio Hotel members for taking care of me these past few days. I got to feel a kind of safety I was craving for such a long time but, now, it was over.

• ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆.  • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆.

I was standing up awkwardly next to the black car Tom rented. The band members were all aligned in front of me with sad gazes.

I broke the monotone silence. "I'll watch your shows on TV. I'll be cheering from home, I promise."

Bill pulled me into a hug, tightening the embrace as he sniffled in my neck. "I don't want you to leave. It's better for you here."

"I know, but I have to go. I have to deal with Kevin, with the scholarship, with my dad..." I mumbled the last part.

"It's okay, we'll be back in a month or less." Gustav smiled softly. "You're okay."

"I know I am." I sent him a reassuring smile. I knew I didn't believe any of it but I preferred to leave them with good energy.

I finally hugged Georg and turned to get in the car. Tom had insisted to drive me home himself even if it was a long eight-hour ride. He said that the concert was in two days and that he had plenty of time to get me home easily.

The guitarist drove away from the hotel and there we were, on the road to my home.

My heart ached at the fact that I wasn't going to attend the entire tour and all the concerts.

"You'll be okay." Tom suddenly spoke as we had been driving for almost an hour now in a complete quiet.

I nodded shyly, the lump in my throat threatening to explode.

There was no way I was going to cry in front of Tom again. No. Way.

"I just want everything to stop." I hugged my knees, resting my feet on the car seat.