Surrender -Tom kaulitz-

45.

"Mars." I shook my head in frustration. "We're both fucking scared of what THIS can turn into but we both want it. I want something with you and I'm pretty sure you're feeling the same-"

"Fucking listen to yourself !" She groaned. "You can't even say the word ! You want 'something' with me ? Tom, we're two pieces of shit who are dead scared of commitment and you think it'll work out to be together ? As a fucking couple ?" She marked a pause. "I want to be your girlfriend, Tom. I want it more than anything else. When I saw how fearless I was about this, I felt so happy and proud of myself for putting my commitment issues aside. But nothing can go our way. You probably figured this out since last time. You're as horrified of this relationship as me so how about we just..."

Everything she was saying made sense. But I wanted this. I did.

Fuck, I did. I wasn't scared like she thought I was.

Well, maybe a little, but this is worth going for it.

"Mars..." I sighed.

Listen to me, for fuck's sakes.

"What ?" She said in a small voice.

"Mars."

"What, Tom ?"

"Pull over."

"I can't, we're in the middle of the highway."

"I don't give a shit. Just stop the motherfucking car."

She swayed to the left and parked there. I took in a shaky breath then turned to her. "I want to be your boyfriend."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Stop, this isn't-"

"Let me be your boyfriend. Please." My gaze softened as I looked her deep in the eye. "Fuck, Mars. I'm ready. I'm ready to take the risk. Even if you end up breaking my heart. I don't care. Maybe I will survive it, maybe I won't. But I just don't care."

Her eyes were watering as she stared into my soul.

Please, don't give in to your thoughts.

"Mars, listen. Let's be together. I want you, just you. I don't care about your commitment issues or your scars or your messed up family business, I don't give a shit about how this relationship is going to end. All I know is that I want you by my side when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I want cigarettes at two in the morning, when I have a good song to force someone to listen, when I'm horny, when I'm partying, when I'm lonely with my thoughts at night. I crave your presence in my life, Mars, and no one has ever made me feel what you've made me feel ever since I met you. So please... just..."

Her lip was quivering and tears were falling down her eyes but not a hint of sadness was readable in her ocean eyes.

"You sound like you're in a movie or something." She giggled through the tears.

"Did you even listen to what I just fucking told you ?" I laughed out. "That speech is worth at least two blowjobs."

She scrunched her nose. "Mmm. Maybe more."

"Good." I smiled. "...So what do you say ?"

She hesitantly looked around. "Are you sure ?"

"After the twenty-minute paragraph I just recited, I think I'm pretty certain about what I said."

She shook her head with a smile. "Fuck, Tom... I hate you so much."

"I love you too." I laughed before my face dropped when I realised what I just said. She looked at me with a dramatically shocked expression.