"doing this the hard way"

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Alondra's POV
"dr.sloan!" i heard someone chant my name making me get out of my deep deep thoughts. "um they're ready for you" my intern said who is helping me in on a surgery. "yeah? um I'll be right there" i said before taking a deep breath and wiping the sweat that has began to form on my face. i feel tired and have headaches almost every single day and i don't really remember the last time i slept. 

i was in the middle of the surgery almost done when i heard someone over the intercom. "sloan take a break we'll have someone else scrub in for you" i heard arizona say "no! im almost done" i
fought back "alondra! just listen this once please" she said begging "no! now get the hell out you're distracting me" i said leaving it completely now quiet.

i don't remember much happening within the next couple of seconds probably because that's when i blacked out and fell back smack down on the floor.

Amelia's POV
i was being paged. that could either mean a good thing happened or a bad thing happened. i find Arizona just standing a patients room and she looked worried and sad. "what?" i asked her and she panicked at first to get her mouth to open. "uh- don't freak out b-but" she said she was just stuttering and not getting any words out which made me start to worry. "what?" i asked again "uh- sloan we had to bring her in" she said and "omg" i quietly mumbled underneath my breath rushing into the room.

"hey, hey what happened" i asked immediately going by her side no matter what type of state we're in right now will always be here for her. "sorry i just didn't want you to freak out, im fine" she tried to explain to me but obviously you aren't fine if you're down in a patient bed. teddy went over all the signs and things leading up to this point "she has been getting no sleep and overworking her mind and herself" i said looking at the blonde and she nodded.

we were alone in the room and it was quiet until she decided to speak. "i don't need this? im fine so can you please go and get me discharged" she
asked me "my love" i said trying to stop her from talking but didn't stop "im fine! just let me go, i don't need this when you could be using this for an actual patient" she explained i sat down right on the side of her bed "you're and have been very stubborn, you need to rest so no i won't" i told her "but im fine, i have a job i need to do so let me" she argued her point again

"you just frickin passed out in an operating room with a persons body open with zero sleeping and overuse of work and you're asking me to send you back to work? my love you're in no good space to be back at work let alone do surg-'' she cut me off right at that "stop! telling me what i need!" she yelled loud and louder than usually which scarred me a little more causing me to jump up away from her. "get me discharged or i will go on my own" she threatened and she was serious. i walked out the room.

i walked around and went to go find arizona. it was pure silence. i sat down beside her. "i should have forced her to stop working but i listened to her" she said i could tell she was hurt but i was only thinking about what im going to do. what's best for me and the kids during this time. "can't lose her" she said placing her hands in her face. i took a deep breath and went to go find teddy and made my decision.

we both walked into sloans room and she just looked annoyed. "am i good to go?" she asked "alondra? me and dr.altman have some concerns about your conditions" i said to her now it's just going to professional since she won't listen or understand me. "we both think it's best if you get admitted for a couple of days until we can get your numbers under control" i explained she looked as if i was betraying her or something. "im fine, im feeling better" she said i took a deep breath looking at teddy.

"we both believe it's best if you stay in the hospital" i said shaky and worried and scared of everything that's about to play out. "well im not staying so you can forget about that" she looked directly at me and she was clearly hurt. i looked down and back up at her "if you're not going to stay on your own then we will place you on a 72 hour hold" i said and she just the way she was looking at me hurt. she started to laugh sarcastically "what? no. no" she said trying to take all the wires and mechanics out of her. that's when teddy started to go up towards her.

"we have some concerns that you'll try to leave against medical advice, and your situation is critical so we need to monitor you in order to protect you." i explained stepping closer to her so she could hear every last word "you're serious? you're fifty one- fifty me" she said stopping for just a second to look at me "yes" i breathed out "look if you try to walk out this door and try to do anything remotely strenuous or working on patients you could die" teddy said putting the rails up on the bed. "no, no what? im fine, let me go and we can figure this out" she started to get worried now and i just shook my head no "no, alondra no." i said "you can help at home" she said starting to freak out don't think she thought i would ever be this serious about something.

"alondra no! you're not going home, i can't help you there i have tried, but you don't let me so this is me helping you" i said she looked at me "no, no! you can't do this, im perfectly confident and fine and capable of making my own decisions" she said starting to take out the tubes and wires and looking both back at me and teddy. "a person who is perfectly fine and confident and capable of making their own decisions wouldn't try to leave the hospital against medical advice" i let out real fast but she was moving around too much "stop" she mumbled "so yes! alondra im trying to do this and im doing this" i shouted a little "no" she said looking down shaking her head no "im serious! if you try to leave-'' was the last words i got out before she finally snapped

"no! amelia!" she yelled in my face "if you try to leave i will put you in restraints" i talked over her and she was panicking and breathing hard. "please don't make this harder then it needs to be!" i said and she just looked at me like now i was in the wrong for putting me first. it was a silent moment
for a little "wow" she said "you left me no choice" i said shaking my head at her "alright this is getting" teddy tried to lay her back down and leave it but alondra was quick to move her hand away. "this isn't support, this isn't love! when we lost christopher you could barely get up out of bed but you what i did? i gave you space! when you needed it" she really just brought up that

i backed up a little and tears started to flood my eyes and were very close to falling. "i let you figure out your crap on your own!" she said as i was backing up and tears just fell. "i didn't call psych and have you committed" she said with pure anger "ok? that is love, that is support, so no! this is not helping me" she said looking at me with tears in her eyes i just at that point had to make zero eye contact otherwise i would give in. "alondra come on" teddy said trying to get her to lay down.

"i just can't believe you would do this to me" she had tears falling and i just couldn't watch or talk to her anymore "dr.Altman is going to take it from here, so" i said going closer to the door "that's how you cope to get your way" she said hysterically laughing but she meant that at the same time. i turned around and walked to the door "if- if you walk out that door we're done, do you hear me?" she started to get louder as i stopped by the door and placed my hand over my face. "do you hear me? mmm" she said for another time this time i
turned around to look at her "do you hear me? if you walk out that door we are done." she said with every bone she was serious.

i looked at her one last time. "i would lose you either way, i much rather lose you than have you not be alive" i said before completely walking out the door "no, no! amelia!" i heard her voice. but you know im not going to try again for something she doesn't want help on and clearly doesn't want me to help her on. so we're doing this the hard way. 

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authors note ~
there you have it... we're following the marina storyline if you haven't already picked that up so just hold on because it's gonna get crazy...

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