Hyunjins pov
Dad had come back, mum however was staying in the hospital with jisung for the night. We were all worried shitless, on top of that dad had found bloody tissues all around the bathroom trash can and was extremely worried.
" guys, I dont expect whoever cut themselves to fess up. But could you all come sit down with me, because I cant help that singular person if I don't know who they are so you all need to hear this" he was panicking, but obviously trying to look calm
We all nodded and sat at the kitchen counter " what is it dad?"
" just, hold up a second." He pulled out a bottle of ketchup making our eyebrows furrow out of confusion as we gave eachother looks " imagine you've got a wound" he squirted a small bit on his arm and blended it in slightly so his arm was red in one place " the pain is unbearable but your natural response is to cover it up, yes?" He threw on a jacket, we all nodded once more " but people can brush past that wound no matter the item of clothing you cover it with, they could walk past you and nudge it or grab your arm. But they have no idea how painful it is, they just see an over the top emotional and maybe angry reaction. And once you realise people might think you're overreacting, to try and fit in you numb it. With self harm, drugs or alcohol . But that only works for a while , but it doesn't let the wound heal . To let the wound heal you need to realise that your intense emotions of sadness anger or sensitivity arent a fault in your personality they dont make you not normal they're just a reaction to the wound that is past trauma. And healing only works if we are able to open up " he removed the jacket " and look at what we are dealing with, do you see what I mean?"
" so...we cant get better if...we dont open up?" Asked jeongin
" exactly " dad nodded " you could try, but opening up to me and minho especially would work so much more. We know its uncomfortable and we know it takes time for kids your age to really get comfortable in a completely new environment, but having this happen.." I could see his eyes well up with tears "jisung and whoever did that to themselves....we just want to help you guys feel better , its not our place to say it hurt us to see that because we care about all of you so much and to see that opening up is that difficult for you is making us feel like we are already failing at making you a happier version of yourself."
" we're sorry dad.." seungmin looked ashamed
" no no no no, don't apologise...shit I'm making you feel guilty now arent I?.... just shut the fuck up chan and help these kids keep your emotions to yourself " he scolded himself
" dad calm down" I said " you're allowed to open up as much as we are, it's only fair."
" exactly " nodded felix
" I know, I'm just very emotional right now and tired and worried about minho. " he used some breathing techniques for a moment before sighing "let's get you all back to bed"
All of us instantly obeyed, I hugged him before going back to my bedroom swiftly followed by the others
Chans pov
I went up to me and mins room once i was confident all of the kids were in bed and all of the lights were out downstairs. I'm ashamed I've guilted the kids more than I have helped them, but what am I meant to do? Theres so much going on and i cant go to min about it because hes at the hospital
As I laid down there was a knock at the door, I assumed it was seungmin or jeongin because hes probably worried shitless about jisung and seungmin may have had a nightmare. They did go to bed about twenty minutes ago now.
" come in" I said
The door opened and in came a crying changbin " oh , binnie, cmere what happened?" I beckoned him over, he shut the door before walking over and falling into my arms. Sobbing his heart out
" I'm sorry, I cut myself. I didn't know how else to deal with my emotions and it's so stupid I'm addicted and I cant stop, it's on my bed and my hoody" he admitted
" it's okay, mogi" I ran my fingers through his hair as he cried quietly " I'm not mad, dont be sorry "
" but I am sorry , I cant forgive myself for what I did and I cant find any other way to forget about it just for five minutes " his choked sobs broke my heart
" mogi, if you continue to blame yourself for your mistakes or things you think that are your fault from the past. You will remain stuck in that guilt" I rested my chin on top of his head " but if you look at what's happening in the now and take responsibility for the future, you will move forward. Because if what you did to yourself today matters but makes you feel like this, surely controlling yourself and forgiving yourself tommorow matters more."
" you're right " he tried to calm himself down by copying my breathing " and why mogi?" He giggled lightly
" because you're always biting seungmin like a little mosquito " I replied
He laughed " fair enough, hey....can you take me back to bed? I dont want to be alone"
" If you dont want to be alone you could sleep in here or one of the others rooms?" I suggested
" here would be nice" he sniffled
" then cmon, let's get under the covers and get some rest mogi" I ruffled his hair before getting into bed soon followed by the teen who insisted on being close to me which I happily allowed with a smile on my face
