Minhos pov
Felix and hyunjin were in hyunjins room, I had given them both a bowl of strawberry icecream each while they watched the umbrella academy on the tv in his room. Me and chan were both insanely worried, I had called the school to report the teacher but there wasnt much more I could do.
" what if his meds aren't strong enough? We can't get anything stronger incase jisung finds it. What if he doesn't want to go back? He needs an education and we cant move all of them to a different school this one is the only one that has a free bus and I'm sure they dont wanna rock up in a seven seater all together people will start asking questions. Plus we cant afford the fine if his attendance goes to low. Shit. What are we gonna do chan? Obviously we cant force him in if it makes him pass out but.....what are we gonna do?" I panicked " chan, what if we do this so wrong the authorities find someone else for them? what if we fuck up? What if they get taken away from us because we arent suitable? I knew we couldn't do this, what was I thinking?! They deserve so much better than us. We cant do this, I cant do this! Chan they see me like a mother, how? I'm getting worse and worse at protecting them, jisung overdosed on meds he wasnt even meant to know existed , changbin cut himself, hyunjin passed out infront of a whole class of children. What next? One of them kills themselves?"
" baby" chan took one of my hands " calm down "
" I cant calm down! How do you expect me to calm down?!" I snapped making him flinch suddenly " baby, I'm sorry but how? How am I meant to calm down?"
Felix's POV
I paused the TV as I heard sniffles beside me, I turned to look at hyunjin, he was crying
" whoa, bro what's wrong?" I asked
" they're arguing...its my fault.. " his voice wobbled
I tried to listen as I hadnt heard anything yet
" well, I'm just trying to help! You think I'm gonna let you have a panic attack infront of me?" Chan said, frustration clear in his normally calm voice
" I'm not saying you cant help! Just give me answers. How the fuck are we meant to do this? I'm doing so shit at this whole parenting thing, how do seungmin and hyunjin call me mom? Of course I love it, i love them, i love all of them. But I'm fucking up so bad and I'm fucking scared " minho sounded like he was crying at this point " baby, what if I fuck up so bad I ruin it for all of us. The kids get taken away, you're angry at me , they're having to move into another environment yet again maybe not even with eachother " suddenly he completely burst out into sobs "baby....I'm gonna ruin this"
Me and hyunjin exchanged worried looks " should we go down?" I asked
" in a minute " he sniffled " hug me" I obliged immediately
Chans pov
" min, you're not gonna ruin anything " he fell into my chest, allowing me to run one and through his long hair and use the other to hug him closely " you've got this, you're a great mom to all of them. Even the ones who dont call you mom. You're not failing them, those things were just mistakes. I left the pill cupboard open , so the jisung thing was my fault. Changbin was gonna cut whether we were there or not, but that's why we are here , to help him. And the hyunjin thing? That teachers fault, and you already bollocked the school for that. You're only feeling this way because you know theres not much else you can do but comfort him."
" you're right " he sniffled "I'm so sorry baby"
" dont apologise my love " I hugged him a little tighter "would going to see them make you feel any better?"
" of course" he nodded " just, hold me for a minute first"
I hummed and happily did so, holding my lover close to me while he calmed down his crying by using some breathing techniques I had taught him a few years back when he was in the pits of depression
" I love you" I pecked the top of his head
" I love you too " he replied
I smiled into his hair and held him even tighter, swaying only slightly as I held my boyfriend, my baby, my minho. I love him so much, I cant wait to get married to him. But a small part of me is too scared to ask the question my heart begs to ask him.
One day, I don't know if it will be sooner or later but I know I will. I love being his boyfriend but I want us to be bound together, forever. It sounds cliche but it's true, he will be my husband some day
