KEVIN'S HEART

𝟐𝟔

𝐊𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥
FIFTEEN YEARS LATER

"THATS MY BABY!!!" I screamed as I watched my now fifteen year old son slam the ball into the basketball net with ease. He hanged onto the rim for a moment before jumping down and pointing at me with a wide smile on hiss face.

"That's what I'm talking about Jace!" Derek screamed from beside me, hyping him up.

Derek's a friend that's hoping to be more. But I don't know if I'm ready for that yet and I don't think us being more than friends will ever happen. It's been fifteen years since Kevin's passing and while I've healed from it, it's been hard creating new relationships without feeling guilty.

Derek and I connected through both of our kids being on the school's basketball team. Both of our children did AAU together as well. I ran into Derek one day when I was rushing into the gym after Jace forgot his basketball sneakers out of nervousness. Since then, we've been good friends.

I've had sexual partners here and there but nothing permanent enough that made me feel the love, I've received from Kevin. Or maybe I didn't give anyone a chance to love me just how much Kevin has.

It doesn't feel right.

I also don't want to cross the line of forming a relationship with someone so close to Jace and his basketball team. I don't want things to get messy.

I focus my attention back onto the game once the loudness of the crowd brings me out of my thoughts once again.

I watch as my son dribbles the ball down the court.

He looks just like Kevin.

I shake my head at the thought and take a seat on the stand once again.

My baby was a star on and off the court and no one could deny it or even attempt to tell me different. It was the same with football. He had a love for both sports but I believe his love for football was stronger because it was a way for him to connect to his dad.

"Grandparents still coming to see him play?" Derek leaned over a little so I could hear him better.

"Yeah, they should be here soon. They didn't expect all the traffic." I tell him while unlocking my phone, hoping to see a message from my parents or Kevin's. We were three minutes into the first quarter and they still weren't here yet.

Leave it to black people to always be late.

Everyone wanted to come out to support Jace's opening game. He was a freshmen starting on the varsity team and everyone in the family was so proud of him.

I was honestly so grateful for having a kid like Jace. He didn't give me any problems for the most part and did wonderful in school.

Just as I opened my messages, a message from Sekani came through stating that they had arrived. A message from my mom followed up as well, letting me know that my dad was finding a parking spot while her and my sister came inside.

I look at the entrance doors of the gym as I wait for my family to come inside. A few seconds later the doors opened and in walked everyone. I smiled as I seen everyone.

It had been a while since we all had seen each other together. FaceTime calls had been keeping us together throughout the past two months as I've been juggling a lot.

My job as a real estate agent took up most of my time and this past summer Jace and I spent it traveling.  I wanted Jace to be fully immersed in different cultures and experiences. I wanted him to have everything he wanted in life. During the school year, there wasn't much time for our one-on-one time so we used vacation time as a way for us to bond.