Project Athena | Reviews

The Greatest Villain of All Time (Roses)

Author: samridhiwith1d

Reviewer: Rain_dropsand_roses

Genre: Fantasy

I typically ignore details like the title and blurb, as I believe the content of the story is what truly matters. However, you requested that I cover everything. I noticed that you misspelled "Villain" in your title, which could give readers a negative impression. If a reader cannot get past your title, they may not continue reading your story. Your blurb is well-written and promises an engaging story, primarily from Onkar's perspective. He loses a close friend to a mysterious illness and makes it his life mission to find a cure for it, no matter the cost. In contrast, Arasi's side of the story is lacking depth. From what you've written, it appears that all she wants is for her father to care and love her. This makes her character feel shallow, especially in comparison to Onkar.

There are currently only six chapters of the story available, so there isn't much to say about the plot. However, Onkar's storyline has already piqued my interest, and I'm genuinely curious about why his friend died. You do an excellent job of portraying his emotional reaction to the loss of his friend, which feels realistic and consistent with his character. His anger, self-blame, and reminiscing all point to a character who has a deep connection to his friends and is easy to relate to. I also appreciate that he's an atheist but still prays with his family for the sake of his friend, even in his final moments. I'm curious about how this experience will further drive his lack of belief in gods and how it might contrast with Arasi's beliefs when they eventually meet.

Moving on to Arasi, I think this is the weakest point in your story, which is concerning since she's supposed to be the female main character. We don't know much about her aside from the fact that she's a princess who wants to please her father. You introduce an interesting idea about how she hasn't unlocked her second soul yet, which draws criticism from her family and others around her. This is a brilliant way to handle character growth and development, as she could learn to be humble and overcome her lack of a second soul by relying on other capabilities she possesses. For example, she seems to be kinder than her father and cares more about her people, even if she's too scared to act. However, I was disappointed that she immediately unlocked her second soul in the first chapter. It would have had more impact if she had done so later in the story, perhaps after overcoming some spiritual barrier. Additionally, her special abilities with water and the rest of your world aren't yet clear. You mention the importance of unlocking the second soul and the stigma Arasi faces for not having done so, only for the Guru to say that the second soul doesn't even exist. This can be confusing for readers. To make Arasi more interesting, you could have her stand up against her father and become her own person, showing her personality through her actions.

You do an excellent job of integrating culture into your story, particularly with the mythology references and clothing. From the six chapters, my favorite character is Divya, despite her short appearance. She is lively, bashful, and passionate about her beliefs, making her a contrast to Arasi. I hope Arasi's meekness is intentional and not due to uncertainty about her character.

Overall, I would rate this story an average of three out of five stars. There's enough mystery surrounding Onkar to keep readers engaged, but Arasi's character needs more development to balance out the story. Together, the two could play off each other well, similar to how Arasi interacts with Divya.

I assume this story was written for a specific target demographic, as it's an Indian fantasy that frequently references gods and culture. However, it's not too complex for readers outside of that demographic to enjoy.