Project Athena | Reviews

Ocean of Blossoms and Blues (Carmi)

Author: Anitemuzu

Reviewer: Read-aholic2006

Genre: Poetry

The poet weaves similes ("Vision and Dreams"), personification ("Wings of Freedom") and metaphors ("Fame and Money") into her poems. They all comprise one stanza, never longer than ten lines. I think this specific structure sets these poems apart from the ones I have read.

Some of her poems are mentally stimulating, as they don't have clear-cut meanings and can be interpreted in several different ways, such as "Wings of Freedom" and "Visions and Dreams". I believe "Fire from the Ashes" is a poem of rebirth and revival, teaching us that amidst all the chaos, there is always hope and restoration; beneath all the ashes, there is still a fire.

None of her poems conform to a single rhyme scheme: "Historical Language" and "The City in the Sky" are free verse poems. The AABB rhyme scheme appears across the entire poem "Infection of Hope and Happiness", whereas her poem "Veil of Mist" follows the unique rhyme scheme AABBCCCCDD.

The poet often ends each of her lines with a comma, although it's rather pointless and obtrusive. Enjambment would eliminate this excessive use of punctuation.

"The City in the Sky" and "Fame and Money" seem detached from the other poems, which all have an underlying message or theme. However, if these two poems hold any relevance to the poet or readers, then my apologies. There isn't really a correct way of writing poetry, as it is a freedom of expression, but I feel as though some of these poems lack depth and could make use of more powerful and raw diction. The more a poem stems from the writer's own heart and soul, the more effective it will be in conveying palpable emotions. As cliché as it sounds, Literature should make its readers feel something, whether that feeling is one of understanding, anger, happiness or interest. And in some cases, her poems could benefit from a richer vocabulary. Take the following example into account:

He pushed on with all his might.

The line above could be edited as follows: He persevered with all his might. It may seem as though this small change served no purpose, but "persevered" is a far more striking action verb than "pushed on".

My top favourite poem is "Runaway". I strongly relate to it; you can do everything you're supposed to do, but if you mess up once, then everyone talks about it. Overall, I think these poems were well-structured and beautifully written, although not entirely expressive. I rate this poetry collection 4 out of 5 stars.