Project Athena | Reviews

Kyrah Wilson and The Prophecy of Queen Adela (Emmanuel)

Author: KiaraStartree

Reviewer: Denyefa4

Genre: Fantasy 

Kyrah Wilson and the Prophecy of Queen Adale is a novel that follows the story of a teenage girl who is transported to a mirror world where she discovers that she has been sent there to fulfill a prophecy and aid in the liberation of a kingdom from a tyrant ruler, with the assistance of her sister.

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on your bravery in submitting your book for review. It demonstrates your willingness to grow and improve as a writer. I admire the pacing of your book and the seamless flow from one chapter to the next.

As you requested, I will be honest and focus on the first chapter. My impression was that you were rushing through some scenes. For instance, when Kyrah was going to school for the test, you summarized it and then immediately jumped to a section where she was at home. Moreover, there were instances where you told instead of showed. For example, when you used the word 'plop' at the start of your first chapter, you could have tried portraying it as an action or an occurrence. Furthermore, the segment where Kyrah entered the mirror world was lacking in descriptive detail, which may negatively impact readers' engagement. Additionally, I felt that the first chapter lacked a strong hook, except for the fact that Kyrah is transported to a mirror-verse. It appeared as though you were attempting to meet a minimum word count by including irrelevant scenes and information.

In chapter two, Kyrah did not have a concrete reaction to the change in her environment. As a teenager who has been transported to a strange land, her reaction should have been more than just confusion and acceptance. Furthermore, when Galene was recounting the history, it felt like an information dump, with no pauses for breath or breaks in the narrative.

In chapter three, I recall that you stated that Kyrah's sister went missing when she was eight years old, but in chapter three, you said it was nine. I appreciate the twist in chapter three and the ensuing chaos. In the later chapters, I noticed the inclusion of unnecessary dialogues to meet a word count.

Regarding grammar, I noticed that there was some unnecessary repetition of the word 'something' and the use of (--) in your blurb, which impacted its appeal. Additionally, some sections were lacking in commas and full stops, but these issues can be resolved through a quick proofreading.

You inquired whether your book is suitable for publishing. I cannot speak to the publishing industry's requirements, as I lack experience in this area. However, I recommend that you submit your book to a publishing house to receive feedback. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with being 'too Wattpady,' as there are Wattpad books that have gone on to be published.

In conclusion, I noticed that your characters lacked distinction, as they all had chestnut hair. Additionally, you had a tendency to repeat words, which detracted from the reader's experience. Overall, I rate your book 3 out of 5 stars, as there are some edits that need to be made.

If you enjoy alternate realities, fantasy, and adventure, I recommend reading this book.