Project Athena | Reviews

Thoughts of An Ordinary Person (Carmi)

Author: mark_kats

Reviewer: Read-aholic2006

Genre: Poetry

This review is only based on the first eight available poems.

Firstly, I like this poetry collection's self-effacing title. It's rather crafty as it understates the depth and beauty of each poem. And the fact that these poems have no titles leaves ample room for interpretation. You have a distinct writing style: The first line of each poem starts with a preposition, sketching the setting. The predominant rhyme scheme is AABB.

Your clever diction sculpts the desired tone and mood of every poem. For example, in your first poem, the feelings of loneliness are constantly highlighted by certain words: solitude... silence... empty rooms... bare walls... hollow ache. Your second poem perfectly encapsulates the theme of unrequited love, telling the tale of a bittersweet romance. Your third poem was a touching encomium that exalted the majesty of Poland, describing the characteristics of the various places. The imagery was vivid and I also found the poem to be very educational because I know nothing about Poland or its history.

I find it amazing that only the first two lines of your fourth poem tell its readers exactly what the poem will be about—forbidden love:

In the realm of forbidden dreams they dwell,

Two souls entwined, a cosmic love they tell.

This poem is also the epitome of personification, describing the stars (fate) as cruel and uncaring.

The diction and alliteration in your sixth poem is very powerful. The poem represents the popular saying that "every villain has a story" and softens the antagonist. The musical theme is expertly woven throughout your 7th poem. Your 8th poem seems to have been written by a lyrical astrophile, considering that the lines praise the stars and the poet seems awestruck by their allure. Just like in all your other poems, the metaphors and similes in this poem were striking.

I only have one problem; I found the repetition of the word "cruel" to be rather excessive in your fourth poem (you use it four times, which may seem like a small tally but using the same word over and over again hints at a limited vocabulary). There are quite a few synonyms to replace this adjective: heartless, ruthless, merciless, inconsiderate, insensitive...

All in all, I love the fact that even though the messages of your poems aren't written in plain black and white, they still bear meaning. Your creativity shines through your figurative language and the way you're able to tell a captivating story in a couple of stanzas is truly impressive. I rate this poetry collection 5 out of 5 stars.