Project Athena | Reviews

Boy Meets Beast (Haize)

Author: Ellen_Reese

Reviewer: adretaRyder

Genre: Thriller

In your request, you asked about why this book in particular may need to be doing better in terms of reads. On the outside, nothing looks out of place. It's the same genre of book you usually write, so it's one that your readers are bound to have an interest in, and the update frequency is quite consistent, too. Got Guts is the story that made you a creator, I presume, so those are the readers that are meant to be retained for Boy Meets Beast.

I read through the opening chapter of both stories and noticed a significant difference. Got Guts introduces us to our main character Kevin in the first chapter, who he is, what he does, what he wants to do with his life, and ultimately the way people interact with him. The satisfactory introduction in "Got Guts" showcases our main character Kevin in the first chapter. It reveals who he is, what he does, what he wants to do with his life, and ultimately the way people interact with him, all through direct dialogue and characters reacting to him. It is an introduction that truly engrosses readers in his story. I glanced at Werewolves Don't Cry and it also follows a similar opening chapter format. Lots of people, interaction and space to know who Jesse is.

The first chapter of Boy Meets Beast is...vague to say the least. Our character is only referred to as "the boy" and even when we get the chance to get a name through his interactions with his friends on his phone, we are given "the Russian boy" which feels almost worse. We get his stepdad's name, but we don't get his.

Perhaps in Boy Meets Beast, you are trying another type of story or a different way of writing. Readers tend to prefer familiarity. The chapters of this story are much shorter and thus offer less focus on the character and even less dialogue. Ilya's name gets revealed in the third chapter, after which he's been shot at (and somehow survived) and has been told he can't tell people he's Russian because that would get him killed. One, we don't know where he is. All he did was get off at the final stop of the train. Wherever this is, surely this must not be too far away from civilisation that it is a ghost town with zombie-like creatures hovering about.

Two, we don't know why there are zombies here, or why this is not something anyone knows about. I went fourteen chapters in, and the character named "Pig" who I'd have expected, from the first few chapters, to always fire out at any undead walking around isn't mentioned to have done this again. If this had been happening consistently, then there would have been some weight to the scene where he shoots at Ilya. But there's nothing. Makes it seem like this was a one-time thing that happened just so the plot of the story could go on.

Ultimately, there's nothing outright wrong with this story. But it feels rushed and unclear about its direction, especially at the start, hopping between Ilya and Charlie's points of view between chapters with no clear progress. It gets better as you go, but it is like this was meant to be a quick read, something that someone can binge in one sitting rather than sit down and focus on. There's not a lot of focus on Ilya as a character. Yes, we get to see what's happening to him, but we get to know nearly nothing about him. There is no backstory (except mentioning an abusive stepdad in the first chapter) no memories, no thoughts of whether he might be missed at home, or by his friends, or being searched for, or, well, anything. It's just wake up, try to escape, get caught, and repeat.

Again, maybe this changes further ahead in the story. But if it takes fifteen chapters for anything substantial to change about the story (Ilya meeting Martha and the lady), then I don't think most new readers are going to stick around for long, unless they've read your other stories and are willing to take the chance on this one.

It only crossed my mind later on and here I went back and checked all of your other stories. Only in this one do you have a simple chapter number as the title of your chapters. Even something as small as that tells me there's no particular focus on what happens in the chapters here.

"Boy Meets Beast is a fast-paced, short-chapter, weekly-updated story, packed with twists and turns that you never see coming, along with scream-worthy cliffhangers that will leave you on the edge of your seat."

You mention this in your blurb, and it exactly sums up what this story is meant to be. Fast pace, cliffhangers, quick payoffs, perhaps suitable for readers to tune into as they wait for you to update your other more complex works.

Based on the first fourteen chapters. I'd give this story 2.5 stars out of 5. There's nothing wrong with it, but there's also little that could be considered eye-catching about it. Vital questions about what's going on aren't answered or hinted at in this time frame, and it's not quite the way I would want a story to go. It feels like it was meant to be a short story that ends quickly, but it stretches to a lot longer than that, without the build-up and introduction that usually comes with longer narratives.