Secret Romance

Chapter 34 🏹

Stardust In My Soul

Monday Evening ~ 5:30pm

I feel like I might faint. My stomach is in knots and I feel so stressed out now. What exactly is it he needs to talk to me about already. Maybe he's changed his mind about me singing with the guys on stage. So many different things, I think I'm going to have an anxiety attack. My heart started to beat fast, my breath becoming shallow and I can't get enough air into my lungs, my hands trembling and I can't look at them. Mingi is still holding me in his arms and my legs gave out and he had to catch me. His arm around my waist holding me up and his other hand going through my hair

*It's okay sweetheart, I've got you, deep breaths okay* - Mingi

His deep voice whispering into my ear but I'm still so panicked and paranoid. I wish he could hug away the fear. What am I going to do? Drink. Drinking sounds good. Take a couple more deep breaths, I can do this. The guys want me here. It should be okay. But god damn why do people do that, say there's a problem and wait to say what it is

Okay. I'm good now. I stood back up properly and gently moved away from Mingi, he cupped my face and kissed the top of my head and giving me a warm smile. I lightly caressed his cheek and turned to the others

*Well. I don't know about any of you but I'm ready for some booze right now*

A couple light chuckles and smiles and we were on our way out the door.

Going to a cute little restaurant, I tried a bunch of food I've never had before and it turned out to be really delicious. I've lost count of how many drinks I've had already. But because the stress is still getting to me, it's harder for the alcohol to help me relax. More drinks, more shots. I just want to black out so I'm not worrying anymore.

Leaving and going for a walk afterward. I asked them if we can get more drinks from the liquor store, they hesitated about it but eventually said yes. And now I'm happy as I can be wandering around with a paper bag full of tequila. We kept walking until we were sitting by the water, the view is taking my breath away

*What if I lose my job? Guys I'm so worried about what's going to happen when I call the boss tomorrow* my voice quivering, my leg started bouncing out of anxiety

*Were not going to let anything happen to you Raindrop. You're still going to be with us okay?* - Wooyoung

*It's going to be okay. Just one step at a time. When you wake up in the morning call him and see what's up. He could just be acting a little dramatic about it too .. * - Seonghwa

I got up with my tequila and walked closer to the water, watching the sunset, it's getting closer to the sky turning to night. I bent down and put my hand in the water, serenity at last. I put the tequila down and put my other hand in the water, there's something about this that's soothing my anxious mind. I took my hands out and kicked my heels off and started walking into the water enough to submerge my feet. The cool water feels nice, it's helping me be grounded. I'll be okay no matter what he says. I just have to finish getting through this night. I almost fell over in the water when a warm hand touched mine. I turned to look back, the wind going through my hair

*Sweetheart do you want to go back to the hotel? It's going to be cold soon* - Yeosang

*Do you really love me?*

*Of course. I'm going to do everything in my power to show you how much I love you and need you to be by my side*

*I'm scared you're going to hurt me again*

He grabbed my other hand and pulled out of the water and gave me a hug. I started to lightly shake, I thought it was from being cold but Ive come to realize that I was crying. Shows how much I've drank so far. I pushed him away and grabbed the last of my tequila and downed it. I'm done with this. I want to sleep until it's morning and get the phone call over with. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my head until I was looking in his eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks.