Book three:
Jora Sanchez:
She fell for the one guy that she shouldn't have.
" I love you so much that it hurts. But can that love make up for that amount of shit that you've put me through?"
Kyler McKay:
He fell for the girl that he couldn't treat r...
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Kyler
I missed her badly.
It had been nearly a month of facetime calls and no physical contact. I knew that it would be a while before she was up for a visit since my scandal, I was hoping that that would change soon.
Over the last few weeks, our relationship was slowly drifting into new territory. It was getting better between the two of us even with the distance between us. I would even go as far as to say that the distance was good for us.
A part of me enjoyed her missing me.
A part of me loathed it.
Especially when my friends got visit's from their girlfriends and I was stuck with seeing my girl through a screen. It sucked. I guess this was a consequence of my own actions.
" I wish you were here," I tell her as we speak about our recent away game.
She's quiet for a moment and I swear that I see a bit of guilt in her eyes before she says, " you know why I'm not there. We're starting back at square one."
I blinked. Ouch.
Throwing my head back in frustration, I let out a long exhale. " I know that, Jora," I let the frustration get the best of me. " I know why and I am trying here. Can't you see that I am fucking trying."
And here I was thinking that we were doing so good.
" I am doing everything that I can to fix what happened." Truthfully, it was fixing more than one situation. I was trying to fix years of pain that I caused her.
Arguing over the same thing wasn't going to help it improve. I was tired of arguing and hearing the same thing, over and over again. That would solve nothing.
Jora pulls at the root of her hair, mimicking my sigh of frustration. " Kyler," she says. " I don't want to fight. We aren't in a space right now to add fighting to our issues."
This was hard.
The back and forth. The space. The distance.
It was all so hard and it shouldn't have to be.
From the beginning, nothing ever came easy for Jora and I. " I- I'm not trying to fight with you," I stutter, running my hand over my curls. " I don't want to fight. I want to make things work but I can't when you constantly hold them against me."
Holding grudges could have been her defense mechanism but in order for us to work, she was going to have to drop that habit. Neither of us were perfect in this relationship, we both offered our faults that played a role. Mine bigger than hers of course, but we had our faults nonetheless.
" We both have to put some effort into fixing this." Jora chews on her thumbnail as she looks away, nodding her head as she stares far off into the distance of her bedroom.
