scenarios - gxg fluff stories out of u and me

scenario13: withyou

Hey

 I'm not feeling well

Emotionally, I mean

I just feel numb and don't feel like responding

I'm really sorry.

The moment I press send on the messages, I start to wonder if I should unsend them. It feels like a bad idea.

But then I see your icon slide down next to my text, then three dots moving like ocean waves below it a minute later. I sweat, with negative thoughts piling up in my head.

Hey

It's fine, okay?

I'm always here when you need me

^_^ <3

I smile at your responses. 

Well, I do need you but...

I don't feel like talking

I just want your presence here. Sort of like a hug, or just staring at you. Being with you while I write

But you're far away, I know...

Then you chatted back:

Well

Is it okay if I could call and just see your face? 

I ask you if it's okay for you and that my emotionless face will bore them. But you tell me that you just want to be with me and that seeing me is enough for you. Seconds after, your caller ID shows up on the screen and I answer.

You seem like you're on the bed, laying on your stomach and your phone is leaning on your headrest. I'm about to open my mouth, thinking of apologizing for taking your time, for the times I ignored your messages, and for how shitty I am. But you beat me into talking.

"You don't have to say anything. It's fine. Just do what you have to do. I'm here."

I smile and mouth a 'thank you' before I go to do what I do. 

I try to type in a few words on the page, doing my assignment. As I am just starting, I hear you say, "I love you,"

I gulp, dare not to look at the screen where I can see a small portion of your bubbly little face. "Sorry, it's just that...I don't really have the energy to react to things? Maybe I can smile a little or laugh but...I just don't feel like doing anything. I might respond very monotone or rudely...Whatsoever. But I just want you to know that I feel the same, okay?"

"Hey," you started. "It's alright. I just want to tell you what I feel."

"Oh," I nod slowly. 

"You know.? Like free speech." It's something I keep saying all the time.

"Yeah. Okay."

I see you smile wider and give a smooch at the camera. Usually, I will feel very giddy and kiss back. But now, I feel nothing about it. Though within me, I am very thankful to you.

After that, I manage to finish a shitty essay that I don't put much effort into, which is unusual for my character as I take writing essays very seriously. Now I'm solving equations, which I hate. I end up becoming frustrated because I still did not get how one thing was solved after I read through the module many times. 

Seconds later, I hear a ping. I open Facebook and I saw you send a link. When I click it, it's a cat fighting itself on the mirror, which makes me chuckle. Then you send in another, and then another. I, then, open the video call tab, and you are just staring at your screen smiling. I assume you're still browsing for cat videos.

I smile a little, then I realize that I don't need those cat videos to make my lips curl upward.

"You like it?" Your voice snaps me back into reality. 

I nod, a grin not leaving my lips. "Thank you for it."

"Oh don't be!" You chuckle. "It's fine. Just thought you need to calm your nerves so you can focus more."

I sigh, looking down at my activity again. Oh yeah, right. Life is not always full of cat videos.

"You need help with it?"

"No, it's-"

"What is it about?"

I stare at you through the screen, as you do too. I know we're both stubborn, but you're much more. So if I try to decline help, you know when to push yourself in when I look like I am struggling hard with something. You also know by my tone of voice when I sound genuine that I got things under control. 

All I do is sigh, explain to you a summary of my lessons, and tell you my problem. Using your mathematical powers, you search through your statistics book, looking all focused. I watch you read through your book before you face me and explain everything I need to know. I don't know if this is stupid love or if you are just a better teacher than mine, but I get everything you tell me with a little bit of struggle. Then I get back to solving. While doing so, you send me little memes and stickers with encouraging words and cartoons dancing. it made me smile. 

I follow through with the solving process that you mentioned with focus and determination. And when I'm finished, you help me recheck if I do things right. 

Finally, I'm down to one more assignment, which is just me doing research about our future lesson. So when you offer help, I genuinely refuse and you get it.  As I do so, I hear the Facebook notification ping after ping. It's just funny pictures and some corny romantic reaction memes that you get from Twitter. Then some series of your face doing silly poses with very uplifting chats below them that made me both giggle and appreciate you more. After a long thought, I decide to cut the tabs in half, with my assignment taking a whole half, and both the call and message tabs in small rectangles over the other, so I can admire my inspiration.

While typing away words, slowly caring about what I put, I hear you say, "I love you.

I just nod. "Mhm, I do too."

I hear you giggle on the other side, while I blush. I realize how emotionless that sounds. I open my mouth, ready to apologize but you stop me. 

"It's alright. I understand. You look cuter when you're focused like that.

I scoff. "Yeah, whatever" 

Another silence filled with just the clacking of my keyboard.

"Hey," You spoke again.

"Hmm?"

"I would like to marry you someday."

"Same," I said, still monotone. Then... "Wait, what?"

You chuckle. "I said I wanna marry you."

I heard that clearly first, and I hear it clearer second. I just want to process every word, and what it all means, and how much I love hearing those words that it made me smile stupidly at the screen.

"despite you being a dumbass." you continue.

We both laugh.

Then, when I finally got my assignment done, I close the tab and extend the one where I can see your face and just stare at you.

After a long silence, you asked "You done?"

I smile as I nod. "Yeah." 

You smile back, "I love you."

My smile grew longer, admiring every detail of your face like my favorite poem. With that, I say, "I love you too."

as we lock eyes and smile, all I ever think of is being with you.