Cool About It

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My period was two weeks late and according to the pregnancy test in my hands, I was pregnant.
This was good. Harry and I were just about to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. Although unplanned, I didn't feel having a baby right now would ruin everything like I had felt it would earlier in life.

I decided I would tell Harry after we had dinner with his mom and sister tonight.

Five o'clock rolled around and we were getting ready to leave for the Italian restaurant where we were meeting Anne and Gemma for dinner. I had my hair half pulled back with a clip. I wore a long, floral sun dress with my favorite sandals. I applied light blush to my eyes, lips, and cheeks as well as a light coat of mascara on my lashes.

"Will you be ready to go soon?" Harry asked as he knocked on the bathroom door. I opened the door. "Yes, I'm ready, " I answered while smiling at him. He smiled back and slid his hand into my hand. "Let's go," he hummed.

On our way out the door, he grabbed my purse off the hook and slung it over his shoulder. Our flat was close to the restaurant so we chose to walk. We walked hand in hand, whispering sweet nothings and looking at all the flowers along the sidewalks.

At the restaurant we were greeted by Anne and Gemma. "You two look lovely," I completed them as we pulled each other in for hugs. "As do you, darling," Anne responded and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "Shall we sit?" she smiled.

Dinner was filled with warm laughter, smiles, rich pasta, bread, iced tea, and red wine. Harry's hand never left my thigh under the table as we enjoyed our dinner and our company.

"My friend Mary just became a nan," Anne said.
"A sweet little baby girl, Poppy, I think her name is," she added. Harry smirked and rolled his eyes, knowing his mothers true intentions of bringing up this topic.

"I'm ready whenever you are, you know," she laughed. "Mum, we're not ready. Still enjoying the married life– just the two of us, ya know?"Harry answered. I felt a lump form in my throat. Not ready. He's not ready. I tried to disguise my feelings with a small smile and a head nod, but I felt Harry could see right through me.

The rest of our dinner was great and we left the restaurant after sitting and talking for three hours. Harry and I walked home in the dark. This walk was much more silent. He asked the occasional question or would point out a new bakery and I would do my best to respond like normal. Like I hadn't been on the verge of tears for the last couple of hours. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Back at the flat, Harry went to take a shower before bed and left me with a kiss on the lips before he departed to the bathroom. I changed into my pajamas, brushed my hair, and removed my make up. I slipped under the covers with my back facing the bathroom door and the second my head it the pillow the tears began streaming down my face. I tried my best to stifle the cries and the way the sobs were wracking through my body. I heard the bathroom door open behind me and I held my breath. I didn't want him to know how upset I was.

"Sunflower," he whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder from behind me. "Are you crying?" he asked. I knew I couldn't hide from him any longer. I turned around to face him. My eyes were puffy, my nose runny, tears continued to stream down my face.

"What's the matter?" he asked his face immediately filled with worry. "Harry," I choked out. "I'm pregnant. And when you said we weren't ready at dinner I didn't know what to do. I don't know what to do," I hiccuped.

"Oh, baby. I didn't know," he sighed, cupping my cheek. His thumb began to wipe away my tears and I nestled into his touch.

"I was just trying to get my mum off our backs. You know I'm willing to take on whatever with you. Even the hardest things. We're in this together and that means everything is going to be fine," he said. I nodded as I began to calm down and catch my breath. He sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me.

"When did you find out?" he asked before he placed a kiss on top of my head. "Just this morning," I sighed. His hand moved gently up and down my back in a soothing motion.

"Well I'm glad you didn't wait to tell me," he murmured. "Even though if you had done it a few hours earlier I could've avoided saying something I didn't mean and made ya this upset," he giggled. "Oh shush, I was scared," I half laugh half scolded him. "Well you shouldn't be. Can tell me anything and you know that," he added.

"I know. Thanks for being cool about it."
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Cool About It - Boygenius

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