FOR SOME REASON I LOVE YOU

COCKROACHES SHOULD BE EXTINCT (HOW DO THESE GIGANTIC ONES NOT FLY)

"I'm shocked you're up," you commented, spitting out the paste in your mouth as Gintoki came into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush.

"I'm shocked you're late for work and not worrying," he shot back, as he put toothpaste onto his brush.

You spit out water you'd gurgled as he spoke. "I came home late last night, so I'm taking a shorter shift today."

Gintoki hummed in response, and just when you were about to ask what work he had today, you heard a death curdling scream.

"HELP!" You heard a bang and assumed Kagura broke something. "HEALTH! HEALTH ME!"

"You mean 'help me,'" Gintoki corrected, calm as Kagura screeched. "What's wrong?"

Kagura ran in and grabbed Gintoki's arm. "A c-c-c-c-cockroach! In my room!"

"What's the matter with you? The strongest being in the universe is afraid of a cockroach?"

Kagura, sobbing, shook her head. "I can't stand them! They're creepy! Shape! Shape up now!"

You snorted, as you left the bathroom to go and eat breakfast. You heard Gintoki lecture Kagura as he walked around to kill the bug. Ever since he'd moved into the home, you'd put him on roach duty, by covering some of his rent as payment for it before you got married. The deal carried on after your marriage as well. He was generally very efficient.

That's how you knew something was wrong when you heard another death curdling scream.

You left the kitchen, to go check on the two, shaking, traumatized, as they lay on the floor. Kagura had her her hands over her head, and Gintoki seemed to have just thrown himself on the floor.

You put your food to the side and went over to Kagura to try and comfort the shaking child, when Shinpachi arrived. "Good morn"- he cut himself off as he saw the predicament. "What's wrong?"

"A co-cockroach," Gintoki answered, his voice shaky. "One hell of a cockroach!"

Kagura lifted her head up. "Pulp! Pulp fiction!"

"You mean 'help me.'"

Shinpachi sighed, and lectured you all as he went to go kill the bug. You got up to follow him, to see what the fuss was about, but Gintoki grabbed your leg. "Gin-"

"Don't move," he whispered, as he stood up and looked at something that was behind you. He interrupted Shinpachi's lecture, and pointed at something. "Oi, Shimura. Behind you."

Shinpachi let out a death cu- okay, now this is getting boring.

Wanting to see what the fuss was for yourself, you turned arou- halfway, stopping yourself and shoving your face into Gintoki's chest to get the image out of your mind. "I told you not to move for a reason," he said, rubbing your back as you now, shook in fear.

"HUMP ME! HUMP ME!"

You practically spit in laughter despite the situation, and Gintoki pat your back as he corrected him with a slight chuckle as well. "You mean, help me."

Then the cockroach did a horrifying thing.

It humped.

Everyone screeched and ran all over the place. You ran to the nearest place and shut the door. You heard another door slam shut as well, somewhere else.

"OH MY GOD WE LEFT Y/N-CHAN!" Shinpachi yelled in horror.

"She was loved," you heard Gintoki sigh.

"You better not remarry Gin-chan," Kagura said.