Irreconcilable~Mattheo Riddle

Year 5: Mattheo's pov (part 2)

song: Starboy- The Weeknd

Screw this.

I take a bottle of the firewhiskey someone smuggled in here and decide to indulge myself. This entire week is topsy-turvy.

Y/N ignores my letters and kisses Fred in the middle of the hallway. And something inside me snapped, I have tried to be good, and it's just not worked for me, so I decided to do a 180.

The Slytherin party was my idea, Umbridge is an idiot and causing some chaos is amusing. The entire Umbridge plan was not discussed with me, so I have no information for Dumbledore, who has decided to ignore me and his precious Harry, it seems.

Draco is off attempting to flirt with Pansy,even though we all know it is Astoria who is lusting after him..And Theodore is beside me smoking his lungs away. 

So, here I am, watching the people around me socialize and give me looks of approval for the plan. One of the Slytherin's in my year even tries to smile at me. I don't bother to react.

That is until I see her. She is here. Why is she here?

When I see Y/N, I immediately get up and start to approach her until I see Fred.

And George

and Ron

And Hermoine

And Harry

and Seamus

and---

Okay, why is almost all the major Gryffindor irritations here, except Y/N. She's fine.

I sit back down and grab another bottle of fire whiskey, "Woah, slow down there, mate," I hear him remark. But I choose to ignore it.

I observe as the rest of the Slytherin group seems relatively unaffected. I am pleasantly surprised by this. I think it's mostly the firewhiskey which makes everyone more at ease.

I am definitely more at ease. That could be either the drink or Y/N.

Then she decides to kiss Fred. Seriously, these two are annoying, "Can't they get a room or something?" I ask Theodore

"Now, do you really want that?" He says as I finish off the bottle,grabbing another.

I give him a harsh look, and he laughs in response, "Just go after Daphne if it bothers you so much," he offers terrible advice.

Y/N looks happy, and if she's happy, I can't take that away from her. But why can't she be happy with me.

I decided not to answer that question. If she knew what I have done would and what I am....

Would she still want to be friends with me?

I decided to follow Theodore's advice. I go to the other end of the absolutely crowded room that is flickering colors of green to where she is standing.

"Hi," she waves, and I am hit with a wave of guilt. She's not Y/N and she is Astoria's sister, it would be weird.

So, instead, I ignore her and decide to stand in front of the fireplace. It's no use trying to flirt with other girls when none of them are Y/N.

I've tried this past week to forget about her. To forget that she ignored me and never replied to my letters. But nothing has worked.

I have tried to charm others but in the end I am left dissatisfied and full of shame. Although Y/N is not mine, I want her to be. I need her to be. It would be a betrayal of the highest degree if I ever tried to do anything with any other girl.

I'm doomed.

I go over to the giant table and grab another bottle. These things are nice.

A Slytherin I recognize as Lorenzo Berkshire smiles at me, "Thanks for throwing this giant get together, it's so much fun!" He smiles enthusiastically. How on earth is this golden retriever in Slytherin.

I've seem him around and his rather talkative nature has led me to avoid him. And in this case I ignore him and go find my seat in an armchair by the fireplace, once again.

When I decide I've wallowing in self-pity long enough, I realise I should probably go talk to Y/N.

She's separated from Fred and is now talking with Hermoine.

As she is walking, she bumps into Draco.
He spills his drink on the floor and on his pretentious suit.

"Well, what do we have here?" He stands back, and a small crowd forms around them."It's the mudblood and the blood traitor,"

When I hear all this and as I watch his face turn into a sneer. As he proudly stands there hurting Y/N and calling her friend a slur.

I speak without thinking, "Hey Draco,"
I walk up to him, holding my drink.
He smiles when he sees me, something I do not return,"You bigoted piece of shit."
And just like that, I splash the drink in his face.

A few people laugh, a few murmur, and as I step into his space, somebody pulls me back.

I feel myself resisting whoever thinks this is a smart idea.

But only when a door slams shut behind me and they turn me around do I realise who it is.

Y/N.

"You shouldn't throw drinks in people's face," she sighs

"He shouldn't have been a jackass." I sigh

I feel myself getting warm. It's very warm in here. I start to take off my jacket.

"How much did you drink tonight?" I hear her say, she sounds far away

"Not so much that I think I overreacted," I try not too look at her. In my compromised state I could say anything. It's embarrassing enough as it. I know that if I see her face I could easily be prompted to say how much she leaves me in awe.

I am aware of our proximity. Her hand is on  my shoulder. I look from her hand to my shoulder and smile.

"Good, so I can tell you, I didn't receive your letters, I assume you continued to send a bunch to the Dursleys?"

I nod, still very much compromised.

She's so pretty, and I realise why they say Firewhiskey is no joke.

"Well, for a little while, I was visiting, erm, other people, so I didn't receive any."

Oh.

"You weren't ignoring me?" I ask, a little to breathlessly.

"Why would I ever do that?" She asks and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

She's so gorgeous.

I look around to see that we are in a broom closet, just outside the common room.

"Why are we here," I whisper, holding in a laugh for something funny, but I'm just not sure why.

She laughs, "Because you needed space to cool down," she whispers back.

"Ahh, okay." I remain seated and just watch her.

She's looking at the door as if she's waiting to leave.

Oh, right, the ginger...

I can't look away. Her eyes they are more enchanting than the stars we observe in the astronomy tower.

"What?" She asks, surprised

Did I say that out loud??

"No," she laughs, and I stare at her stunned.

"You taught me how to use Legilimency"

Woah. I should keep quiet now.

"Yes, you should."