Irreconcilable~Mattheo Riddle

Year 5: Mattheos pov (part 4)

Song: Friends- Chase Atlantic

"Mr. Weasley has been attacked by Nagini."

This attack was not communicated to me by the Death Eaters. They must know something or are planning something terrible.

"Is he alive?" I ask, getting out of bed quickly and deciding to get dressed as fast as possible.

"Barely," is all Lorenzo is able to tell me at this moment.

"How did you find out?" I ask efficiently fixing my tie and blazer, trying to get all my facts straight, before I go find Y/N.

"Y/N and I were in the Gryffindor common room," (a rather common occurrence as the two of them sneak each other in to talk to one another... it's non stop chatter), "And then Harry rushed downstairs with Ron," he takes a moment to slow down the pace at which he is talking. It's strange seeing him so serious.

"Harry had this dream and then he told Y/N to get hermoine and Ginny," I'm almost done fixing my hair when he finishes, " They are at Dumbledores now,"

"And you didn't go with?" Is the last bit of information I need.

He shakes his head, "She told me to get you."

I give him a brief nod as my way of saying thank you before heading down to Dumbledores office.

I start to walk faster and start planning on what to do when I get there. Dumbledore has been of no help this year and I left things on a rather sour note with him.

I burst into his office, "Y/N?" And then my heart sinks.

Him.

He's holding her, but she doesn't like to be held like that.

I know, we have been having breakfast together every second day. She insists on not neglecting her trio so she balances out when to spend time with who.

He's practically clutching her, and I know she doesn't like it. Her shoulders are tense, but she's trying hard to just be there for him.

"What is this idiot doing here?" He immediately asks.

"He's an asset, he knows how his father works and how Harry probably had that dream." She defends, which causes Fred to immediately drop her and steps away from her.

I try to hold my tongue and focus on the task at hand, proving my usefulness.

It's not that difficult to decipher what's going on, my father is of course a master manipulator.

All eyes are on me, "The Dark Lord is using Legilimency to penetrate Harry's mind. Right now, he is susceptible to attacks" I pace closer to the pensieve, "his mind is weak, and he needs training" I look over to Dumbledore who gives a nod of understanding

He adjusts his spectacles before speaking.

"Harry you will start Occlumency lessons with Snape," he points to the Weasleys, "the rest of you will go back to the Burrow to be with your mother," he points to the remaining non redheads, "rest of you off to bed."

And with that everyone takes leave, as I dart out the door I overhear a conversation between Fred and Y/N.

She pulls away from a kiss,"Now is not the time, your father is seriously injured," I hear her sigh

"I bet if this was Mattheo you'd be willing to kiss him goodbye," he says raising his voice slightly

"Fred, go be with your family. I'm not discussing this with you." She raises her voice slightly back and I am filled with pride on her part. It's breathtaking when she stands her ground.

I make haste to leave quickly, but she soon catches up to me, "Smart picking up on the mind trick thing " she remarks whilst catching her breath

I catch a glimpse of her in my peripheral vision and notice that her shoulders are noticeably less tense, in turn I relax "My father does it to me sometimes so it's not anything new."

She gestures for me to continue and I hesitate for a second, "Well, I'm sure you've noticed my muggle habits..."

We both turn a corner and in that realise we are walking to our spot , "Cigarettes you mean," she pulls the lighter from my side pocket

"Yes, and muggle music and so forth, and let's just say that it doesn't go unpunished."

We both take our seats in the room of requirement and I am relieved to see no one else here, it's been bombarded with so many people lately, it almost lost its specialty that it had when it was only us.

Only us.

Words I want to say, I want it to be just us. My heart yearns for us, but that is an impossibility, a dream that will never come true, because at the end of the day I will never be good enough and I don't know how I'm supposed to live with that.

"What does he make you see?" She asks whilst adjusting her seat so that she is propped upright staring at me, legs crossed over.

I hate to relive the memories," Things."

"I didn't know you're greatest nightmare would be things."

"Y/N, I can't discuss this with you." I hate the idea of pushing her away but it wouldn't be right

"Why not?" She's looking at me as if the answer is not complicated but it is. I am haunted by her in my dreams, in my nightmares.

It doesn't matter if it's the waking world or not, she is always there.

"Because it's none of your business." I say standing up to go to the other end of the room.

"Mattheo, you have to trust people, you can't bottle your emotions up," I hear her standing up too

"And why should I trust you Y/N?" I am becoming more frustrated by the minute, but not at her, at the situation.

"Because I'm your friend!" I hear her sit back down again and sigh.

In this moment, in the heat of the situation and the terrible mockery the universe puts me through, the only thing I can say is,

"I don't want to be your friend Y/N!"