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warning: mention of rape

"lily. what are you doing here?" my mum asked, pulling me into a hug.
"i need to speak to you mum." i said, tears rolling down my face.

she took me inside and we sat on the sofa.
"erm so basically.. something happened and i don't know what to do now." my mum held my hand, she looked scared for what i was about to say. "please don't interrupt me until i've finished. it's really hard for me to talk about this" she nodded.

"so um. a few weeks ago i-uh.. i was at a party in manchester. and uh.. i went to the bathroom alone. there were these guys that touched me. i didn't like it and tried to get away from them. but erm. they ended up dragging me to a bedroom." the tears now streaming out of my eyes.
"they uh.. they did stuff to my body. that i didn't want. i tried to get away but i couldn't."

she looked completely in shock. she pulled me into her and i hugged her tightly.
"they raped me mum" i choked out and cried harder into her.

"oh my baby. have you told anyone else. or the police." she asked. i shook my head.

"and.. i- erm i'm pregnant." i closed my eyes. i tried to think what i should do. i don't know if i should keep it or not. i'm still a child myself after all. my mum stayed silent.
"say something mum" i whispered.

"are you going to keep it?" she asked. i shrugged my shoulders.
"whatever you do, you have my full support honey"

"can i stay here until i figure out what i'm going to do" i ask.
"of course you can. are you going to tell leah. i know how close you are." she replied.

"yeah i will. but i'd rather tell her in person than over the phone." i said.

after a bit i went upstairs to unpack my things. i decided to message leah.

me: hi le. i'm in mk. can you come down when you get a chance. i need to talk to you.

le<3: i'm in training now. i'll come straight after

i got a few phone calls from keira, maya and lucy. i ignored them for now. i carried on unpacking. when i pulled out the pregnancy test, tears formed in my eyes again. i quickly shoved it into my desk drawer.

when i was finished i sat on my bed and called maya back. she answered and she was with lucy and keira.
"hi girls" i said with a light smile.
"are you okay lily. how come you've gone back to milton keynes?" maya asked.
"it's a long story. and one that i need a bit of time to process. i cant tell you right now but i promise i will soon. i love you guys but i really need my family right now. so i'm gonna be staying with my mum for a while." i explained. they all nodded, happy that i am safe. i said bye before hanging up the phone.

i lay on my bed with my hands over my face. i felt someone lay next to me and rest their head on my stomach, wrapping their arms around my neck. i look down to see leah, still in her training kit.
"you really did mean straight after training" i laughed.
"mhm" she mumbles.
"so what did you want to talk to me about" she asks. i stroke my hands through her hair.

"so you remember when i told you i felt sick at the party and that's why i left?" she nodded.
"that was a lie. the real reason is that.. i um i got- erm i was raped"

she lifted her head from me.
"what" she looks at me with a shocked face. tears spilling from my eyes again.
"yeah" i said quietly.
"oh lily. i'm so sorry that happened to you. i don't even know what to say" she said tears filled her eyes.

"and there's something else" i said standing up and going to my desk. i pulled out the test and threw it to her on the bed. she picked it up and read it. her mouth fell open in shock. she stood up and came over to me and engulfed me in a hug.
"i don't know what to do le" i said.
"listen to your heart. what does your heart want" she asked gently. leah has always been so good with words. it's the reason i tell her everything.

"i feel like my heart want to keep it. but my head is telling me not to. i'm just so confused. i have so many emotions" i reveal.

"who else knows" she asks.
"just mum" i say.
"and what does she think"
"she said she wants whatever i want"

i lay with leah on my bed. my mum comes in the room and lays down with us.we lay there for a bit, all cuddling together.
"i came to tell you both that dinner is ready" mum says. we all get up and go down to dinner. after we eat, we sit on the sofa and i tell my dad and jacob what happened.

"are you going to keep it?" jacob asked.
"i think so." i said.
"oh fuck. i'm going to be an uncle" he said.
"and we're going to be grandparents" dad says gesturing to himself and mum.
"i'm going to be a bloody mum" i said not believing it.

"i just called jonas and told him that i can't come to training tomorrow. family things" leah said walking back into the room.
"and leah's going to be the annoying auntie" i joked.
"hey i'm not annoying. i'm going to spoil that kid rotten. i'll be it's favourite" she said while sitting down next to me.

soon later i went upstairs to get ready for bed. leah came into my room and sat on my bed.
"can you sleep in here" i asked her.
"yeah if you want" she replied. i nodded and she slid into my bed. i went to brush my teeth and then slid in next to leah. she held me close to her and i fell asleep easily. i was really tired from today. i had cried so much and i had driven all the way from manchester.

A/N: word count for this chapter is 1072 words
hope you enjoyed :)

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