Beyond

Whispers

Lance sighed and closed his eyes. He hadn't really accepted what he had been told, he had been in full denial about it but there was a small part of him that knew what Dr Strange had said was true.

He was dying.

There was a knock on his door and Lance wasn't really in the mood for the comforting talks and hugs. He just wanted to pretend it wasn't real.

"I know you're not actually asleep." Keith grumbled as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Lance sighed again and crossed his arms before glancing at Keith. "What do you want?"

Keith frowned. "What do you want right now?"

"To not be dying."

"I'm serious Lance." Keith growled. "Tell me."

Lance took a deep breath and turned his attention to the ceiling. "I want to pretend that it's okay. That... That it isn't real."

Keith nodded. "We can do that. Come on."

"What?" Lance frowned lifting his head from the bed to watch Keith cross his room. "Where are you going?"

"You know the most about this place." Keith shrugged with a smile. "So you're gonna show me around."

"That is not normal." Lance grumbled as he got up.

"Yeah, well it won't just be me." Keith explained tossing him his jacket. "Come on."

Lance sucked in a deep breath then got up to follow him. He could use the distraction.

They made it to the lounge area where Gwen and Miles were chatting with Clint and Natasha.

"And you two are sure you're up for this?" Natasha asked crossing her arms. "If anyone finds out you work for a collapsed SHIELD then they're going to ask questions."

"We're sure." Miles nodded. "We can handle it."

"And a friend of ours once said that we should do what we're meant to, protect the city and those in it."

"I didn't say it exactly like that." Lance frowned. "Or maybe I'm recalling it wrong."

"Lance?!" They both shouted.

"Sup." Lance smiled.

"Was no one going to tell us he was back?" Miles asked glancing around the Avengers.

"It's been a little complicated." Clint admitted shooting a glance to Lance who quickly looked away.

"Complicated huh? Sounds about right." Gwen mumbled her eyes flickering over Lance. "Are you okay?"

"Not really." Lance whispered with a sigh.

"Lance was going to show me around." Keith explained trying to cut the sudden tension.

"So this is your new friend?" Gwen said slowly as she crossed her arms. She was getting defensive.

"Old friend." Lance frowned. "You guys were my new friends."

"Oh, okay." Miles nodded. "We could come with you and catch up a bit?"

"How long have I been gone again?" Lance asked meeting Natasha's gaze.

"Just under a year." She answered.

"Nine months, two weeks and three days." Miles said as he looked up from his phone making Lance frown. "What? I record important dates."

"It's good to know you weren't alone here." Keith admitted quietly.

"Yeah I wasn't." Lance nodded. "Shall we go?"

~~~

Showing Keith around New York had been great fun, he had also explained what he knew about how the planet was protected by what was SHIELD.

Miles and Gwen explained that when Lance was gone an attack by HYDRA forced SHIELD to collapse in order to stop something terrible from happening.

But now he was tired and confused.

He couldn't decide if it was normal to feel this way or if something else was wrong.

The lions were quiet in his mind and it gave him a moment of quiet.

Something he didn't know if he wanted. So here he was sat on the roof watching the sun set over New York.

He wasn't alone for long.

Thor quietly sat beside him, watching the same sun as it began its fall toward the horizon.

Lance hugged his arms tighter around his body. "I don't want to die." He whispered into the mild air around them like a sacred secret. "I don't want to go."

Thor glanced to him then back at that sky. "You know, Asgardians believe that when you pass on you become a part of what keeps the universe together. The stitches of the realms, the stars, a planet."

"But what if I just want to be Lance?" Lance whimpered his bottom lip trembling.

"I have faith that our friends will figure this all out." Thor assured gently placing his hand on top of Lance's and offering a squeeze. "We will not let you go."

And Lance sobbed curling instantly into Thor's side, all the pain that had built within him from the fear and the anger flowed away with each gasping tear that escaped.

And no, nothing was good, nothing was right. But for a moment it was okay.

~~~

"Have you not been sleeping?" Bruce asked, cupping Lance's face.

Lance blinked blearily at him. "I feel that's all I do at the moment."

Bruce frowned, he examined Lance for a few seconds more, then pulled away. "One of SHIELD's doctors is coming in, he's a specialist so he might have some ideas."

Lance nodded and glanced back at his lunch which he didn't have an appetite for.

"You need to get your strength up Lance." Bruce reminded. "You need to eat."

Lance sighed and held onto the silence a moment longer. "I think the lions knew."

"About you being ill?"

"I'm not ill." Lance muttered. "I'm dying."

"Lance-"

"I think they knew something was wrong with me so they bought me back here."

Bruce was quiet for a moment, he was then sat next to him placing his hand on his shoulder. "I've seen you get back up from being hit by a car, being poisoned, forming a giant robot with your mind and surviving. I know you're going to be okay."

Lance offered a watery smile. "I'll try to be."

~~~

"Heart rate and blood pressure all seem normal." The doctor frowned. "There is no organ failure or tissue damage. What has led you to believe that you are in fact dying?"

"Dr Strange said that my life force is hanging on by a thread." Lance answered while rubbing the palm of his hand. "And no one seems to know how to fix it."

The doctor frowned and stared at Lance for a few moments. "What do you think the problem is?"

"I think it's Haggar." Lance admitted with a shrug. "I think she's somehow connected to me and that's why I'm draining."

"Interesting. I can't make any assumptions yet, but I plan to come to a conclusion."

"Fancy speak for I don't know." Lance smiled as the doctor scowled. "I'm an enigma, no one knows how I'm alive or what is going on around me."

"I see, well I will speak with Dr Strange and see what he thinks."

Lance nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

The doctor collected his bag. "In the meantime though, I suggest you try to remain optimistic, those who give up are harder to save."

Lance watched him leave.

Maybe he was right.

"And how do you find hope amongst so much dread?" He asked hismelf before he got up. "How about we fake it til we make it, eh?"