chris & matt sturniolo imagines

make it all go away

this was a request, but i did tweak it a bit so i hope that's okay! i did leave out part of the request as i'm not 100% comfortable writing about eating disorders since i still have a love hate relationship with food/weight myself.
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TW: mentions of self-harm, overdose, suicidal thoughts

if these are triggers for you please, please, please do not read. there are plenty more light hearted topics i will be writing in the near future
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i do not write these types of imagines as a way to romanticize real struggles. a lot of people, including myself, find reading/writing these topics comforting because we are seeing someone else understand us. it helps us feel less alone. please know that if you are struggling with absolutely anything, you can come to me <3. i am using some of my own experiences/struggles to help me write this imagine.
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Nothing helped. I've tried everything and nothing makes my mind shut off. People say pain helps, but even that didn't take the thoughts away. Cutting, burning, scratching, pinching, nothing helped. My skin tells more stories than my mouth would ever read. Scars like tattoos traced my skin with no sign of ever healing acting as constant reminders that it doesn't get better. Not for me anyway.

Tonight I decided enough was enough.

Tonight I would make it all go away.

I stood in my bathroom, the entire house empty and quiet. My parents were gone on vacation and who knows when my sister would come home. The guys were out filming a car video, so this would be over by the time they were done. I had no distractions, no one trying to stop me, it was now or never.

My hand shakily held the bottle of opioids, they were from a surgery I had a few years ago and I never finished taking them. The only reason I knew these would do the trick is because my doctor was adamant I be careful with them, addiction and accidental overdose being a risk.

Without hesitation, I unscrewed the cap and took as many as I could back to back, not bothering to drink water as I choked them down. After the bottle was empty, I sat on the bathroom floor and waited.

I felt my heart rate begin to pick up, my skin became warm and soon my hands became clammy. I tried steadying my breath, but each time I tried to breathe it would hitch in my throat. My vision was in and out and my head was slowly falling back into the wall, which made me pick it up until it inevitably happened again.

This was it.

This was my freedom.

Matt's pov

"Bro, fucking stop!" Chris reached into the backseat to try and grab his can of Pepsi from Nick for the third time, "I'm gonna go crazy in, like, three seconds if Nick doesn't give my shit back."

"Nick, give his pop back." I tried helping and looked to our brother in the backseat who had a big smile on his face. I swear, they annoyed each other for sport on a daily basis. As they argued, my phone began vibrating in my lap and I checked it, "Guys, shut the fuck up." I quieted them down and answered the phone, "Hey, Jess, what's up?" Jess was Y/n's little sister.

"M-Matt! Oh my god—" I couldn't tell what was going on the the background, but I knew I heard some type of siren, "Y/n!" She was crying.

"What's going on?" I sat up in my seat. Chris grabbed the camera off the dash when he noticed my demeanor, "Jess. What's going on?" I repeated.

"What's she saying?" Nick propped himself between the front seats and tried to listen, "Matt."