Elysian Fields

21 - Finifugal

POV - Kai

This was best for her.

I knew it was.

I needed to tell her, or I would have very regretful, last few moments.

"In around," I looked at the clock above my bed, "30 minutes, you'll get to live your dream life. Just like how you've always wanted.""

She froze and turned around to look at me. The guilt weighed my eyelids down.

Expectedly, her eyes were red as tears stuck to her cheeks.

It made me feel so horrible that she's crying.

Because of me.

"I don't know if you remember but I once told you that when angels die..."

She looked up at me with fear and shock reverberating around her eyes.

"Kai what did you do?" Astonishment ringing in her ears.

"When angels decide to die..." I choked out, "they are granted a wish."

My eyes searched her eyes, from left to the right and back. "Angels are immortal, when they believe they have seen enough of life, they can choose to die."

"Kai..."

"And I have... decided to... die" I felt dehydrated and couldn't cry. My arms shook but watching the look of heartbreak on Ellie's face was far more painful.

"Kai, please... please tell me your joking please." I chuckled coldly.

"Ellie..." I sighed. "I wished you could go back down to earth. Free of the vicious disease. Living the life of a normal teenager. Having the chance to dream and achieve many opportunities."

"Kai stop this isn't funny."

I stepped towards her, the tears on her face streaming as she didn't cry out loud.

I raised my hand up towards her cheek, knowing that when I die, I would have to leave this beautiful artwork behind.

Tear drops had begun dripping from my eyes, and I brushed away her tears with my thumb. My palm caressed her jaw as my thumb tucked in a few strands of her hair. My fingers on my right hand embraced one side of her neck as her tears gushed down. I couldn't cry and felt quite welcoming of the darkness my drooping eyes provided. Her left hand hung onto the back of my hand.

Slowly, I felt my face nearing hers. As her eyes widened, with tears lining the rim of her eye, I slowly shut mine and tilted my head, hoping to taste her delicious lips. My lips latched onto hers as I devoured the sweet treats on her face. Eventually she was kissing me back, much more harsh as if she had wanted this as much as I had. Her lips brushed mine, softly, delicately, like a butterflies wings, just long enough that I could inhale her breath, feel the warmth of her skin, and taste her lip balm lingering far after she had pulled away.

We were both panting as she pulled away.

I looked deep into her eyes, as she to me.

My eyes fell to her lips but this time it was her initiating. She threw her arms around my neck, and smashed her lips against mine. Kissing her felt so right. I had known her, her whole life but she only knew me recently, proving how strong my feelings were for her, but I had only a few minutes left before I had to go.

I pulled away this time, licking my lips wanting more but knowing I can't.

My time was nearing.

These short delicate kisses were all I needed. I could imagine a future with her. We date for a few more years and before she turns 25 we're engaged. We're saving up for a new house. We get married, had 3-4 kids. I was thinking too far and I was thinking the impossible.

Instead of saying, till death do us apart at our wedding, I'd say 'Death Did Us Apart'.

I didn't tell her what I was thinking because I might've scared her.

I tested out how her name would sound with my last name. Elysian Fields. The thought made my heart jump. Elysian fields meant heaven.

Elysian Fields is my heaven.

I couldn't admit this now, but I was in love with her.

Madly in love with her.

But my time was running short.

I was counting my minutes.

I couldn't tell her how I felt, or she'd live knowing that someone who loved her, is now dead.

I knew Ellie's Thantophobia, fear of losing someone, was increasing by the minute.

I lifted her chin and searched in her eyes, scanning them for the sign of reciprocating love.

I had 30 seconds left.

"Ellie, I wish you the best of luck. You have so much, waiting for you down below. You have so many people who would be delighted to see you."

24 seconds left...

"I want to tell you that I'm so proud of you, So damn proud that you had overcame your problems and decided against harming yourself. You are so f*cking brave."

17 seconds left...

"Kai please don't go. Kai I need you please. I don't think I can live without you. Kai I f*cking love you!"

9 seconds left...

"Ellie, no you shouldn't. Ellie you can't I'm going to die. You shouldn't please don't say that!"

4 seconds left...

"Ellie... I love you too."

***

POV - Elysian

I woke up, gasping.

I sat upright in my hospital bed, my face still stained with tears.

My eyes fell on Nora first and then on Dr Anna and then other Nurses.

Nora bounded over me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and cried. I felt so broken, but the tears stayed in my eyes.

I placed my hand on Nora's elbow and patted her gently, calming her.

The chatter of the other Nurses didn't go unheard.

"Just a few scans Ellie and you just might have been cured"

"A f*cking miracle"

"Language Ace"

"Sorry"

"Ellie's so lucky"

And knowing who had sacrificed themselves, was f*cking horrible.

Kai.

The thought of him made me cry.

"Nora, could you please pass me my bucket list?"

Nora smiled and handed it to me, after grabbing it from the bedside table.

My shaky hand reached for a pen and I felt so many emotions erupt through me.

Swallowing the bile of emotions down, I shakily bought my pen closer to the page.

My hand shook as it ticked number 10 on the list.

10) Falling in Love

After placing the ineligible tick down on the page, I broke down immediately, crying out loud. The pain was so intense but the memories were even more painful.

***