paper cranes | uc.

( 19; garden of blood )

'paper scent.'

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"i must say, your grades are better than i expected them to be!" the counselor suggests, intertwining fingers over the set of her papers, full of numbers that were her scores for every test since her first year. "i don't seem to understand though...are you not planning on applying for any universities?"

[name] bit down on her lower lip, a pained smile on her face as she looked down. "i..i don't really know what to pursue at the moment, that's all."

and on top of that, i'm already busy with this counter job...and...not even noona oo mun got to apply for college because of this duty. what's there any hope i get to either?

"hmm, i've noticed you haven't joined any clubs either..." she mindlessly nodded as her counselor skimmed over her profile, sitting uncomfortably in the very middle of the dark leaf green-colored sofa in the room. 

yeah, i don't have time for that either...

"is there a reason?" she asks, a kind smile on her face that seemed welcoming for all. "you're one of the best students in our class, [name]. you are a bit slow sometimes, but i've noticed that when you put your mind to something, you somehow get the best possible results out of it. that's a talent not everyone has, a very unique one as well."

she nods once more, mindlessly playing with her fingers with eyes set on the hot chocolate mug on the table placed in front of her.

"think about it, did you ever have a childhood dream?"

wanting to be free of my father, probably. but really, she only thought as far as that. she wouldn't even consider herself free right now because deep down, she still had fear for the man who had ruined her for life. not as much as it would control her, but it was still there as the smallest fragment; memories could never be erased after all, she just doesn't let it wear her down anymore is all.

at that time too, school was just a means of spending time outside those walls. now, she was just studying to graduate.

what exactly did she want from her studies?

[name] shook her head, grabbing the cup and taking small sips. "not really, no...maybe that's why people think i'm a dry person."

"that's not true at all."

[name] looks up and finally meets her eyes with the kind female teacher, "dreams do not always mean being a doctor, teacher, scientist, or any possible position where you need to study and achieve. dreams can be fickle and merely simple, and not everyone has the means to achieve them either because dreaming too high can make you forget what your reality is."

she knows that too well.

"give it some thought [name]. what you dream of doing ten years from now."

"...i'm...not really sure, can i have some time to think about it?"

"of course, until our next meeting?"

"hopefully."

on her way out as she pulls her schoolbag up her shoulder, she mumbles loud enough for the teacher to hear, "goodbye, miss."