paper cranes | uc.

( 22; in his arms )

'paper scent.'

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[name] didn't get any sleep.

she couldn't stay in the same room as ha-na because her mind was filled with thick and dense fog, guilt eating her up from the inside and she didn't want to know where mun was either.

she was either too nervous or too worried to get some shut-eye. she thanked the gods that it was a saturday for she hadn't even opened her physics textbook yet, and her exam was on monday but the exam was the last thing on her mind for now.

she decided to walk out of ha-na's room and grab a spare pillow, shut the door behind her, and took a seat at the table outside.

throwing her head against the table after she placed the pillow onto it, [name] released a sigh, rethinking her life choices and the lingering touch on her lips, staring at the door of his and her room, reminding herself of how he was in there, but she couldn't go inside.

i...i can't figure myself out right now. my body responded to that feverish kiss like never before, but...

did i....like him?

her hands began shaking at the question, and no matter how much she tried to bite down or stop the warmth in her body, she still felt her heart race when she remembered how close he was to her.

but then, along with the arising feelings, came the guilt.

the guilt that she was just a fraud for taking advantage of him.

a rush of shame surged within the channels of her veins. she hated herself for being so selfish that she had entrapped her with a mess he was incapable of handling, and the guilt began arising glistening tears that trailed the path down her eyes. 

maybe she did like him, maybe she did, but it was too much all at once. the overwhelming sadness from the previous events of the night still had her traumatized, and now, she was just kissed by a man she never even realized he had seen her in that way?

more than guilt now, she was confused.

why...why did he kiss her?

why...does he...like me?

she found that unlikely.

she was neither pretty as ha-na,  and was neither as smart as any single person he could ever meet. she acted purely on her own instincts, but that would one day fall apart as well. she was never sure of anything, she was always afraid too.

she was a complete and utter mess.

what benefit would he gain out of liking her? she was a wimp, always lost her mind, and her smile? she barely even does that. she looked like a donkey when she smiled, to be very honest. she even made a meme of her own face.

oh yeah - her sense of humor was horrible.

she used to imagine the weirdest things, and was always daydreaming no matter what. her head was quite literally in the clouds, thinking of the weirdest stuff and things that had no scientific explanation to them and literally went against the law of physics.

she could never stand up for a relationship right now.

she could barely even make sure she had a proper breakfast.

and she...she was nothing.

she wasn't worth anyone's time, or anyone's love.

love.