Black & White

Chapter fourteen

I am waiting in the parking lot, next to my little sister. This is our daily routine. She is sitting, texting with her headphones on and I sit next to her, looking outside. "Oni zdes'" "They are here", I stand up.

Anastasia is standing up too and we are rapidly approaching the car, opening the doors to get in.

Dad's not here. This is Mom who is driving. Where the heck could he be? "Privet moi lyubimyye" "Hello my loves", she smiles at us.

I am remembering all the things she told François about me. My personal life. I don't feel like talking so much with her. Maybe she wanted to help, but she isn't the one who should talk about my struggles. I just want them to stay in my privacy. "Privet mama" "Hi, mom", I tell her, a little bit frustrated.

She is looking behind her, looking at Anastasia being on her phone, including her white headphones on instead of answering. My mom is rolling her eyes. "Kak proshel obed s Fransua?" "How was lunch with François?", she smiles back at me.

Yeah, my sister fairly pisses off my mom. "Bylo zdorovo" "It was great."

Her face is changing and she seems concerned. "Chto-to ne tak, Aleksey?" "Is there something wrong, Alexei?"

I have to be honest this time. I have to. "Mam, zachem ty vse rasskazala Fransua?" "Mom, why did you tell François everything?"

She has to know what I am talking about. She knows for sure.

She is pausing, waiting for the green light to turn on. "Aleksey, ya bespokoyus' za tebya. Fransua - chelovek doveriya, mne nuzhno bylo pogovorit' s kem-nibud' ob etom, chtoby luchshe uznat' vashu situatsiyu."
"Alexei, I'm worried about you. François is a man of trust, I needed to talk to someone about this to get to know your situation better."

I am hiding my face with my hands of discouragement. "Tak teper' on znayet vse, chto proiskhodit v moyey zhizni?" "So now he knows everything that's going on in my life?"

I love this man a lot, of course. But seriously? Now he'll see me as a pitiful boy all the time. Alexei Andreyevich Pacaroskov, the boy who has a miserable little life. I don't think I enjoy being seen that way.

"YA otvechayu za tebya! Aleksey, vasha lichnaya zhizn' v takikh sluchayakh znacheniya ne imeyet. YA prosto ochen' khochu znat', chto proiskhodit v tvoyey zhizni, potomu chto ty dazhe ne govorish' mne ob etom ni slova."
"I'm responsible of you! Alexei, your personal life in such cases does not matter. I just really want to know what's going on in your life because you don't even say a word to me about it."

She's not even the one who had the idea to contact the doctor. "Pochemu vy, rebyata, sporite?" "Why are you guys arguing?", my sister asks, closing her phone.

I think she never saw us arguing before. My mom loves me to a certain point where I can't do anything without her worrying about everything, following me everywhere. I bet she still watches me sleeping making sure I'm fully covered so I won't be having a "cold".

She's not as intense with my sister, nevertheless. I don't know why, tought. "Eto mezhdu mnoy i tvoim bratom Anastasiyey. I my ne sporim" " This is between me and your brother, Anastasia. And we are not arguing", she is replying to her.

My sister is raising her eyebrows and expands her eyes, probably finding my mom's answer a little bit intense and goes back to her phone.

Maybe my mom is talking about this to many other people as well. She could tell about this to her friends, her parents or even all my uncles and aunts.

She stays silent, probably giving up on the conversation. She turns on the radio, turning up the volume. Ukraine and Russia again. She picks another channel and leaves the song playing, even if it's not really her type of music. The road's ambient is dead, and I look out the window, waiting to go to work.