Black & White

Chapter seven

Every Thursday, I have soccer practice after classes. My teammates are some of my favorite people. They are like brothers and sisters to me. Having plenty of practice together made us build a strong connection.

Not too long after I step into the gymnasium, Eve comes to me, full of enthusiasm in her eyes. "Hi!"

"Hi, Ève.How are you doing?"

Like every start of conversation, she says she is doing good. She admits she is happy to see me today, and asks about me.

Behind all her natural kindness, Ève gives me a lot of affection and attention. But the problem is, they don't seem platonic. I am feeling bad because I don't feel anything for her and I don't want to break her heart. Nothing actually proves me she does, but that's just my intuitions.

"I am glad you are doing well. I'm alright, thanks for asking", I reply.

My coach is coming to us and the practice starts. This man is the nicest one I will ever get to know in mankind. He has more wisdom, kindness, and empathy stocked in him than my own Dad. This is awful to compare someone with a family member, but that's just a tiny truth.

While we are all practicing, I notice that soccer doesn't feel the same as before. It's as if it's way less interesting, fun or entertaining. I really don't know what is going on with me. I am trying my best and failing multiple times. Why, and how? It feels so weird. I've always loved soccer all my life long and suddenly, it's as if it would be a sport I never played. I don't know how badly my teammates are going to take it.

After an hour, we all all ready to leave. Everyone is getting out of the gymnasium full of sweat and red faces, full of exhaustion. "Are you sure you are okay, Alexei? I've noticed that your capacities are different today", she stays instead to join others.

"I am, Ève, don't worry. I am just a little more tired today. "

She is a very caring girl. I just am worrying a little bit about you today, she says. I want her to take care of herself first, and I will be saying this to everyone who tells me similar words. She seems nervous, and she clumsily plays with her nails and hair with repetition. The more she talks, the more pink her cheeks become. "Well if you want to talk we could always go somewhere just the both of us, this weekend...? I am free on Saturday."

She still looks stressed. I can't, I work Saturday.

"Oh... Well it's alright... We can always text!"

I feel bad, but she doesn't look that upset.

"Of course, we will", I reassure her.

"I am so sorry, I have to go... My parents are waiting for me in the parking lot. Rest well, Alexei!"

She is nodding and leaving with her bag, weirdly waving at me. My coach and I are the only ones left in the gymnasium and he is taking the opportunity to talk to me.

"Hey Alexei... Can I talk with you for a little bit?", he asks.

He asks me the most asked question I got today so far; are you okay? You are being different than the other practices we had. Of course, I answer the same thing as I told Eve. I didn't know that I was being that glaring.

"I am here, you know, if you want to talk. I would be ready at any moment to listen to you, Alexei. You are like a son to me. And so I'll be like a dad to you, making sure you are alright. "

My coach and I are really close. He doesn't see me as a random student but his son. He often tells me that I make him think of his son. To clarify the context, he married a russian woman and has a son. A blond haired boy, just like me. At the age of  six, he died from leukemia. I look like him, apparently. I can't imagine the pain he had to go trough, including his wife.