Sweater Weather - Karlnap (au)

50: for him.

Karl Jacobs

--

"So do you boys care to share what happened today?" the principal looks between Percy and I. When I glance over at Percy I find him staring out the window, refusing to look at anyone. Especially me. 

"Sorry i'm late" Lola enters the room, her eyes swollen. "I'll just sit here" she sits down on the couch on my side of the room. I'd like to think she's on my side of everything, but I know she isn't. She'd never choose anyone over her boyfriend.

"Boys?" the principal looks between us again. "I need you both to speak. If not I will just believe anything Mr. Mavric had to say, and that doesn't look too good for either of you".

"He didn't hit me" I confess. "Percy didn't hurt me on purpose, I know it's all an accident".

"Percy?" we all wait for him to respond. He doesn't.

"Sir, I was there the entire time" Lola speaks up. "I can answer any questions you have. Truthfully".

"No Lola, that won't be needed" he gives her a kind, gentle smile. "I'm wanting to hear from the two boys sitting in front of me. I need to know if this will be an ongoing issue here at school, or is it something that will be resolved easily".

"We'll work on it ourselves" Percy finally says something, his leg bouncing up and down quickly. "We don't need to do any kind of resolution meeting, Karl and I can fix this on our own".

"Karl?" I don't say anything right away. I think about how Percy might be feeling, he probably doesn't want to get into any kind of trouble again. 

"Y-Yea" I stutter. "Of course we can work this out on our own".

The principal gives us one last warning speech, and says we have two weeks of detention before letting us all leave. I find Sapnap sitting on the seats outside, Mr. Mavric sitting next to him. They both stop talking when they see us walk out of the office. Lola and Percy walk away together holding hands, she looks back for a brief moment, sadness in her eyes as she stares at me. I want to stop them, I want to fix this all now. But my mind goes back to just two hours ago when Percy had me pinned to the floor. He confessed to outing me but still found a way to make it my problem, like it's all my fault. He hurt me, confessed his truth and then hurt me again. I shouldn't allow him to walk away without any consequences, but how could I stop him? Hurting him now means i'm hurting Lola too. 

 I'm suddenly surrounded by new fears. The fear of losing Lola has crept into my mind and it's something I can't just shake off. I never thought getting Sapnap back meant I lose Lola. 

--

I feel his arms around me as I slowly wake up from a deep sleep. His head is laying on my chest, our legs tangled together. I look down at him to see he's still asleep, soft snores escaping his lips. I run my hand through his hair, a satisfied smile on my face. I can't believe this is real. I'm still trying to process the fact that he's mine now. 

I look out my window for a moment to see the night sky, the dim street lights show the snow falling. I gently shake Sapnap until I hear him begin to groan about being woken up. I don't say anything as I point out the window, he looked out and I watch his face light up. Without either of us needing to say anything he opens my window up,  and dims my fairy lights while I begin playing one of our favourite records. It plays softly in the background while we both snuggle together, staring out at the snow slowly falling. 

"What time do you think it is?" his voice cracks, a sign that he still isn't fully awake just yet. 

"I'm not sure. Maybe midnight" he responds with a hum and I feel the vibration of it while my head lays on his chest. "What time do you need to leave tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure yet" he sighs. "I wish I could stay here with you" his fingers slip between mine as he presses a kiss to my head. 

I want to ask what his plans with Harmony is. I don't want to be the secret, I want to be his and I want it to be public. I don't think I could be his in private. But I know I can't ask him about it. We've both silently agreed to keep this night to ourselves, it doesn't need to be about anyone else. There is much we could talk about, Harmony, Percy, and Lola. There are things we need to talk through. I don't even know if I forgive him for the things he's done to me, but right now i'm okay. I'm more than okay. The boy I love is holding me while we look outside to the snow falling from the midnight skies. It's perfect. We're perfect.

"I'll leave after you wake up" he sighs again. "That okay?"

"Of course" I mumble.

We stay in the same position for a while, listening to our favourite songs while we watch the world pass by out my window. I struggle to keep my eyes open, but they eventually win and I slip into a deep sleep. When I wake up I the space next to me is empty, I sit up and look around for a moment wondering if I dreamt it all. I walk around my house until I find Sapnap sitting in the kitchen, laughing at something my mum has said while she's making eggs.

"You're awake" mum cheers. 

"Hey" I say to both of them, but my eyes are locked on Sapnap. "What's the time?"

"It's midday" Sapnap chuckles. "I woke up ten minutes ago and I really need to leave soon but your mum insisted on making us breakfast".

I sit down next to him, his hand instantly grabs mine. I squeeze his hand, a piece of me still not believing any of this is real. When mum finishes the food we all sit down together and eat, like the old times. Like we're a family. Except this time it's only the people I actually like here. I look to where my dad used to sit during times like this, I feel something rise in me but I refuse to believe it's the feeling of me actually missing him. How could I miss him? 

 "I should get going" Sapnaps voice pulls me back to reality. "Thank you for the food, and thank you Karl for last night".

"Thank you" my voice cracks. I feel so fragile, like I can just cry at any moment. "I'll see you on Monday?"

"Yea, i'll call you later" he leans down to leave a kiss on my forehead before leaving. 

Mum stares at me, a small smirk on her face. I don't know what they spoke about before I came down here but I can only imagine that he didn't say anything about us. That forehead kiss probably gave away what Sapnap and I are now, she's giving me the knowing stare. 

"Stop" I blush. "Don't make this a big thing".

"I didn't say anything" she continues to smirk. "But I will say that i'm proud of you".

The truth is mum has no idea that Sapnap is still in a relationship with another girl. I doubt she'd be proud if she knew I ruined their relationship for my own selfish reasons. 

--

ello besties

how are we all doing??

im so so good right now 1989 (tv) has been in repeat.. no shocker..

but also troye sivan has been on repeat!!!!!!!!!! any troye fans??
pls tell me at least one of you like troye 

for him. has been another song ive been waitinggggggggg to use! i have so many love songs ive been keeping for these kinds of chapters hehehehe

here are some lyrics:

'You don't have to say I love you to say I love you'

'And sometimes living's too hard
We're like two halves of one heart'

anyway

hope youre all well!! 

have a safe day/night

ill be back sooooooooooon :)