ME / U (Alex Marquez)

eight

I open my eyes and I still feel exhausted. I notice Alex and Gemma left my room but their clothes are still on the beds. I look at my phones and I have three missed called from Marc. Tim and Lana texted me as well. I get up and I get dressed. I brush my hair and I tie it. I grab my earphones and I start to listen to music. I don't call Marc back because I don't want to talk to him for now. When I'm like that, it can be for hours or days. It depends of what you did. I'm a resentful person and sometimes it annoys me. I leave my room and I go to the cafe of the hotel. I order a hot chocolate and a cookie. I sit around a table and I start to drink my hot chocolate. I barely notice there are Marc, Alex and Gemma in the cafe. I text back Tim and Lana.

Tim : Aymeric, Luca and Jade dorment encore.
Lana : On va se balader, tu veux venir avec nous ?
Angelina : Vous êtes où ?
Tim : On se prepare.
Angelina : Je termine mon chocolat chaud et j'arrive.
Lana : On te rejoint au café de l'hôtel. 

I threw my paper cup and I wait for Lana and Tim. I take my earphones off my ears when I see them coming. I put them in the pocket of my hoodie. 

"Tu as l'air épuisée Angelina." - Lana says

"Je me suis couchée tard." - I say

"Il y a quelque chose d'autre ?" - Tim asks

I nodd looking away. I take a deep breath and I explain what happened yesterday night. 

"Je ne veux pas lui parler, j'ai encore besoin de temps." - I say

"Prends ton temps." - Lana says

"Où sont-ils?" - Tim asks

"Au café de l'hotel. Je les ai vu du coin de l'oeil, mais je ne les ai pas rejoins." - I reply, "Marc m'a appelé trois fois, j'ai vu ses appels manqués quand je me suis réveillée." - I add

"Je suppose qu'il regrette." - Tim adds

I shrug my shoulders. We keep walking a bit in a parc and then we come back to the hotel. Aymeric, Luca and Jade are with them. I look at Marc and he looks sad. It breaks my heart but I'm not ready to talk to him. We join them, I say hello to everybody except Marc. There is a heavy silence since we arrived. I see Luca coming, followed by Jade and Aymeric.

"Everything's okay ?" - Jade asks

"We still need time to be completely awake." - I lie

"Are you sure ?" - Luca

"Yes."

My friends know me very well, they noticed quickly there is something wrong. I get up and I put my earphones in my ears. 

"Where are you going to ?" - Gemma asks

"Outside, I need some fresh air. I'll come back soon." - I reply

"Be careful please." - Gemma adds

"I will."

I leave the hotel and I walk in Madrid to clear my mind. 

                                                                                    ~

"Can someone tell us what's wrong ?" - Aymeric asks

"I can try to explain." - I say

"Thanks, Alex." - Luca says

"I had an argument with Marc and Jose yesterday. They went to a bar, Gemma followed them to know where they were going to. Marc and Jose started to be drunk. I was with Angelina at that moment because I was sad and I needed to talk to someone. Gemma called us panicking and she told us to come so Angelina drove to the bar. She told us to come back to the hotel. She managed to bring Marc and Jose back to the hotel but on their way, Marc tried to beat her but she avoided it. She punched him and Jose in their stomach and they vomited against a low wall."

"Alex and I slept in Angelina's room because she didn't want us to sleep with Marc and Jose knowing they were drunk." - Gemma adds

"Marc ?" - Aymeric says

"Yes ?" - Marc replies

"Don't ever do that. Please." 

"I won't. I promise. I also apologize for what I did."

"What's done is done, we can't change the past." - Lana says

"Will Angelina be alright ?" - I ask

"It will be complicated. Her character is difficult. You see her smiling everyday but inside, it's something else." - Jade says

"What do you mean ?" - Jose asks

"She's a resentful person so she needs time to forgive things. Another thing you don't know if you're not told is that she's in depression since middle school because of what happened to her in the past. Sometimes she seems to be recovering but not completely, because she can sink back into depression." - Lana says

"She's not the person who asks help when she's sad, she prefers to be alone. If she texts you asking help or telling you she's not okay, it means it's urgent. She hates when someones makes her do something. When she's silent, either she doesn't have anything to say and she listens to you or it means she's not okay." - Tim adds

"What can we do to help her ?" - Gemma asks

"Giving her time, being here for her, showing her we love her and staying by her side." - Luca replies, "Don't hesitate to hug her when she looks sad." - He adds

"Did she try to ... ?" - I don't even finish my question

"Yes she tried. She ended a lot of times in a hospital." - Aymeric replies

My heart breaks. I didn't imagine that. I text Angelina because I'm so worried.

Alex : Where are you ?
Angelina : I'm in a park. I need to clear my mind.
Alex : I'm worried Angelina.
Angelina : I'm here Alex, everything's okay.
Alex : Promise ?
Angelina : Promise.
Angelina : I'll be back soon. 
Alex : Can I hug when you come back ?
Angelina : Yes. 

"How can we know if she forgives us ?" - Marc asks

"She won't tell it but she will show it. Like, she will bother you or she will buy you something. Or she can hug you when you don't expect it. In any case she will come back by herself." - Jade says

I can see Marc is worried. Gemma and Jose are worried as well. 

                                                                                     ~ 

I'm on a bench in a park. I'm lost and hurt. I want to forgive Marc but you know how I am now. Alex texted me and it warmed my heart. My phone rings and I see a text from Marc. My heart breaks when I see it.

Marc : Hey it's me again and I know you don't want to talk to me because of yesterday night. I... I apologize for what I did. I didn't mean it, I wasn't conscious of what I was doing. I wanted to thank you because you took care of us even if I acted badly with you. So thank you for that and thank you for Gemma, you took care of her as well. Thank you for all of us. I... I wish we could talk again like before. You probably hate me now but I wish we were friends again.

I'm starting to have a lump in my throat. Receiving a text like this hurts, especially when it comes from your idol. Tears roll on my cheeks. 

Angelina : I don't hate you Marc, you're my idol and to me it's impossible to hate my idols. I'm just hurt. Just give me the day to move on. 

I keep listening to music and I keep walking in the park.