ME / U (Alex Marquez)

twenty-one

I help Alex's parents to set the table. Alex stares hungrily at me and I giggle blushing. I sit next to him on the couch. His hand takes mine and I smile at him. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore. I'm lost in my mind. I start to feel sad again and I have no reason to be sad. Fucking depression. I hide my sadness. At least, I try. Being on my period doesn't help. I sigh and I get up to go in the garden. I need to be alone when I'm like this. I listen to music with my earphones. It helps me to feel better. I wish Alex joined me but I also want to be alone. I'm listening to 'Stay' from Rihanna. It is one of my favorite songs. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I see Alex sitting on a chair next to me. I stop the music but I don't take my earphones off. Alex takes my hand in his and he takes my earphones off. I don't look at him because I don't want him to see the tears in my eyes. 

"I don't want you to lie to me saying everything's okay,  because I know you're not okay." - Alex says

I let tears fall on my cheeks. 

"Look at me." - Alex adds

I hesitate for a few seconds before I look at him. 

"What's wrong, Angelina ?" - Alex asks

I burst into tears and I feel like I don't have the energy to tell him everything. He takes me in his arms and he lets me cry. 

"I'm sorry, Alex. I ruin everything because I'm not fine at all." - I say 

"You don't ruin everything."

"I know I do."

"Stop saying that ! It's not true." 

I just don't have energy at all. I just want to cry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Alex gets up and he takes me to his bedroom. He closes the door. I grab my teddy bear and I sit on Alex's bed. I notice Alex sits next to me. 

"Come here, Angelina." - Alex says

I sit on his knees and he hugs me. I fall asleep slowly. Alex gets up and we lay on his bed. He puts the blanket on us and he wraps his arms around me. My head is on his chest. I hear his heart beat fast and I feel his breath on my hair. He is my safe place. I fall asleep in his arms. 

We wake up slowly. Alex fell asleep as well. We stay a bit in his bed before we join his parents, Marc and Gemma. I feel so much better. I set the table with Marc. He hugs me tight and he kisses my forehead. I'm not that hungry but I will still eat what Alex's mother cooked. It looks so delicious ! His parents ask me questions. 

We're done eating and I clean the table with Gemma. I do the dishes with Alex's father. We also talk together. We go back to the living room. Marc and Alex are choosing which board we are going to play. We keep talking together. We often laugh telling jokes. I will sleep in Alex's bedroom tonight. I see him looking at him. I'm so in love with him. I think I'm ready to date him. He keeps staring at me and I start to want to kiss him. We keep playing at the board game, until his parents wish us good night before they go to sleep. Marc and Gemma stay with us for thirty minutes. They leave us alone to go to sleep because they are exhausted. 

"Wanna go to your bedroom ?" - I ask

"Yes." - Alex replies

We turn the light off and we walk to his bedroom. We are on his bed and he is playing with my hair. I look at his lips. I still want to kiss him, but I don't know if he also wants to. I'm on his knees again and he keeps playing with my hair. I look at him and I see him smiling. His smile is precious and I want to see it everyday. I don't see myself without this angel. I kiss his cheek before I hug him tight again. He is my world and my everything. I don't want to be without him. I need him. He was there when nobody was and he knew how to make me feel better. He did a lot for me. I fell in love with him without noticing it. I knew it quickly because I know how I am and how I feel when I'm in love with someone. I kiss his forehead before I look at him again.

We go back to the living room and we start to watch a movie on the TV. The movie is in Spanish, but Alex put English subtitles. I understand a bit Spanish but English subtitles help as well. I start to feel sleepy but I stay awake because I want to watch the movie and I want to be with Alex. It's still hard for me to believe he is in love with me too because I have trust issues even if I trust him. I'm also afraid of being hurt again, I don't want to be hurt another time. I know Alex isn't like that but when you are still recovering from a toxic relationship, it's hard to trust and to believe again. 

Alex fell asleep and I'm watching the movie all alone. We started to watch The Neverending Story. I love this movie, so that's why I keep watching it even if Alex is sleeping. He looks cute when he sleeps. I put my hoodie on him so he doesn't get cold. His dogs join us and they put their head on my thigh. 

I yawn and I turn the TV off because the movie is over. Alex wakes up and he yawns.

"The movie is over ?" - Alex asks

"Yes, I just turned the TV off. We can go to sleep now." - I reply

"Is it your hoodie on me ?" 

"Yeah, I didn't want you to get cold." 

"You didn't need to do that sweetie."

I shrug my shoulders and Alex hugs me. We walk to his bedroom and we go to sleep.