Rulden spoiled Lake

Chapter 7

I stayed back in my parents house and have no plan to live with Rulden again. He tried to call me many times but I refused to answer it. I don't want to talk to him again. I'm afraid that if I see him again I might burst into cry. I don't want him to pity me. Though, every time I close my eyes the scene keep haunting me and I even dream of it. The more I think about it the more it breaks me.

I regret that I didn't noticed my feeling for him earlier. And it's too late to realized that I shouldn't share my husband to other. That I should be the one who supposively do my duty not whoever he picked up. But It's worthless now. Obviously is just one sided love. He never going to love me back because I'm a man. I can't give him the pressure he wanted, Im not capable of, because I'm not a woman. For the first time in my life I felt insecure for being gay.

Since it not easy to avoid Rulden if I just stayed in my parents house. I decided to moved in the dormitory near my university. My dad didn't question me about this, maybe he understand my decision. I even blocked Rulden because he never stop calling me and sent me messages. I even missed every important engagement of my family just to avoid to see him. I always thinked that this is the right way to do. There's no future for us. So I decided to give him the freedom to do want he wants. I just focus to my studies first.

Time passing by, slowly. I tried to live my life without Rulden. And when dad told me about his plan to closed the orphanage because no one took place to run it after my mom's death. He told me, he's too busy with our businesses he don't have spare time to took the orphanage. I totally disagreed with it. I told him that my mom will be sad in heaven if he closed it. I, myself is a witness how my mom love those little orphans. She treated them like her own children.

"What would you suggest?" my dad asked.

"I do it." I said directly.

"What?! But you still studying. How can you manage to run a orphanage with so much children? Its not easy for you since you grow up without siblings sweety."

"That's why I do it, I treat them like my own siblings and children."

"Lake... I'm afraid about what you want... "

"Trust me dad.."

My dad sighed. "Im not okey with it but I want give you chance to prove yourself. If you feel, you can't make it, tell me sooner."

I smiled. "Yes Sir, I promise."

I did my best to runned the orphanage. Well, it not easy as my dad said, but I worked hard for it. I never thought I would enjoy being the heir. It helps me lot to grow more responsible. When I start playing with kids I almost forget the sadness and loneliness caused by Rulden. It kills my spare time to think over things and never regret argued about this with my dad. The orphanage give me happiness that substitutes to my failed marriage.