A Rough Morning

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Maya never usually ate breakfast anyway, but she was particularly not in the mood today. It was 5:45am and she hadn't slept at all. She couldn't pace around the apartment any longer, she had to get out. She pulled her favorite leather coat over her and shivered, but not necessarily due to the cold. Maya had been scared many times before. The time she tried to go all the way around on the swings at the park and and saw the ground getting nearer and nearer, and afterwards when her foot was bent at a funny angle. The time she lost all her money on the subway and didn't have her phone. The time when she was six and there was a thunderstorm that went on all night and her mom wasn't home. She'd been scared before, but Maya decided that morning that she'd never felt more fear than she did leaving her apartment that morning.

The cold New York air stung her face as she walked along the street. Maya gazed up at the towering buildings she'd known all her life and suddenly felt a bit trapped. It was all getting to her: the cold, the buildings, the unsettling amount of people rushing around at almost 6 in the morning. For a second she wished she had Riley with her for this. Maybe that would make it easier. Or maybe not, Riley does tend to panic easily and Maya really didn't need that today.

The drugstore was so quiet compared to the rest of the city. Maya didn't head straight for the aisle she needed, she thought she'd initially just act like she came in for a casual browse. Shopping around in a drugstore at 6 in the morning, as so many others do. At least there was a 24-hour drugstore right by her apartment building, or else she never could've swung this little shopping trip. Certainly not without Riley noticing, anyway.

Maya slowly eased herself over to the aisle she'd never, ever wanted to have to face. She started at the back end of the aisle. Tampons and pads, adult diapers, and right next to that sat what seemed like thousands of different pregnancy tests. Maya couldn't help but laugh when she saw that placed right after the pregnancy tests were the condoms. She couldn't decide if that was a form of mockery or a warning, but she did think it was funny. Then she remembered what she was looking for and had to swallow hard to hold back the tears. Maya wasn't exactly educated on the top pregnancy test brands, so she found three of the cheapest ones and grabbed them off the shelf. Three, because she had to be absolutely sure and she only planned on making this trip once.

Maya now came to the part of the plan she hadn't even remotely considered: where would she take the test? She couldn't go home, her mom might be there. She obviously couldn't go to Riley's. Her face burned as she realized she would have to ask to use the store's bathroom. Not to mention the fact that she hadn't had a drink all morning and didn't need to pee at all. She slowly strolled up to the register trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Riley is good with people, Maya isn't.

"Excuse me, can I use the bathroom here?" Maya asked as politely as she could manage.

A short, round, middle-aged woman turned to stare at Maya. She pulled of her glasses and stared at Maya's hands.

"You gotta pay for those first, sweetheart," she replied. Her voice was kinder than Maya expected.

Maya paid for the tests and the woman at the register pointed her in the direction of the bathroom. it was small, with a dusty mirror and very toilet paper. Maya could not care less about these details, though. She ripped open the first box and scanned over the instructions. She did her thing and then waited and waited and waited. Maya took a deep breath, closed her eyes and turned towards the test. Right before she looked, the only thing she could think of was how she should've done this with Riley. She knew she'd pay a price for leaving her out of this, but then she remembered she preferred to be on her own in rough situations.

Two pink lines stared at Maya, clear as day. She sunk to the ground and covered her mouth. She wasn't sure if this was to stop herself from screaming or throwing up. She felt her chest tighten and could've sworn the walls in that grungy bathroom started closing in on her. Why did she do this? What was she thinking? How could she have been so stupid? Maya cleared her throat and stood up. She had to keep pushing forward, otherwise she would've stayed on that bathroom floor all day. she took the other tests but it was no use, she had known all along. She had a feeling.

All thoughts of Riley and her parents and Maya's mother left her head and she could only form one coherent thought: what is he going to say?

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Please leave feedback letting me know what you think! Thanks :)

Song for this chapter: Two Pink Lines ~ Eric Church


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