37: The Dream

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"I love you," Rosé whispered, looking excited. She moved closer to me, sitting on my legs and holding me in place. I didn't feel any weight, but I could feel her soft skin and smell her sweet scent.

Rosé leaned against me and wrapped her arms around my back, getting closer to me. She looked down shyly, showing some skin from her white dress. I tried not to stare, but Rosé put her hands on my neck and pulled me closer.

She sighed and whispered, "Can you touch me more?"

I hugged her back and moved closer to her lips--

"Wait, what?" I sat up straight, surprised.

I was alone in my bedroom, and the morning sun shone through a gap in the closed curtains. When I looked at the clock on my side table, I saw that it was just past five. With the approach of summer, the sun was rising earlier, and I certainly hadn't intended to wake up at this hour.

I pressed the palm of my hand against my face as I remembered what I'd been dreaming about and was immediately overcome with shame. "This is the worst..."

The dream had taken me by surprise. Previously, when Rosé had appeared in my dreams, she had behaved as usual, never acting with such blatant desire. When she had told me the day before that she wanted me to touch her more, that must have provided the inspiration for my fantasy, but even so, I felt ashamed. My mind had imagined Rosé acting in ways she never would. Even though it had only been a dream, I still felt guilty about having those kinds of feelings toward her.

It was frustrating. I wanted to cherish Rosé and treat her respectfully, but my subconscious mind apparently had other ideas. I had the fleeting temptation to slam my head into the wall.

I decided that some exercise would be just the thing to clear my head. Pushing away my unwanted thoughts, I made to leave my room but paused on the way out. "Kill me now." Before I could start the day, I was going to need a nice long shower to wash away any lingering frustrations.

"Hey, Y/N, what's with the dead expression?" After getting up early for a morning run to shake off my shame, I had exhausted myself both physically and mentally. Lisa must have noticed and approached me during a break at school.

I looked at Jennie, who was sitting beside me, to ask whether I looked that lifeless, and she nodded. "Ah, well...I went for a little run this morning," I explained.

"That'll wipe you out, no doubt." Lisa nodded. "A couch potato is sure to get groggy when they finally start working out." Lisa cackled and grinned lightheartedly as she slapped me on the back. I was relieved that she didn't press me any further.

Telling Lisa something meant that Rosé would know eventually anyway, so I did my best to avoid telling her anything important. Honestly, I didn't want to let anyone know about my dream.

"If you're not feeling great, just head home after school and take a break. Don't push yourself too hard," Rosé chimed in, standing next to Lisa like she was her keeper. We were in school, so Rosé was in her "angel mode," but she was genuinely worried. I had a feeling she was going to spoil me once we got home.

But I knew I wouldn't be able to accept her kindness. My guilt from that dream was still haunting me, making it hard to even look at Rosé. I replied in a flat tone, "Thanks for being concerned, but I'm fine. No need to worry." I tried to keep my emotions out of it, but I could see Rosé's face stiffen out of the corner of my eye.

I didn't want to show how awkward I felt around her, but it probably looked like I was suddenly mad at her. I couldn't explain why I was so distant, so I just kept quiet and avoided the topic. Everyone knew I was a moody introvert, so I doubt anyone thought twice about it.

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