𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 - 𝐁.𝐄

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄

-kaia's pov-

...

billie's birthday was honestly.. a night. i could tell she was so happy and even happier when we got home..... anyway.

it made me happy to see her happy but i still couldn't silence the stupid voice in the back of my mind telling me everything's pointless. or the other voice telling me that something's off.

ever since that day with kiara, i have this weird feeling. not anxiety.. more like a gut feeling. but i don't know why. maybe it's the way billie randomly got all lovey after being a cheating ass bitch? hm, who knows.

right now, i'm laying on billie's chest while she plays with my hair and scrolls through instagram. "billie?" i speak out for the first time in hours, finally mustering up the courage to tell her what i've been feeling.

"yeah baby?" she replies in a soft but raspy voice. "i have to ask you something and i'm telling you right now, billie, let me find out you're lying and imma raise hell." i turn myself to face her, sitting with my legs crossed.

i see a panicked look on her face and she sits up against the headboard, "yeah, what's up mama?" she asks and i take a deep breath.

"is there something i don't know about?" i ask and i see her go pale. she stays quiet and i feel anger start to rise in me.

"billie, you have 5 seconds to start talking before i kick you out of this apartment, block you, and never fucking speak to you again." i knew i wasn't fucking tripping. always trust your instincts.

"i- kaia, you gotta understand it wasn't-" she starts, "no, billie. i don't want you to defend yourself, i don't want you to explain yourself. tell me what it is." i cut her off.

cause it ain't no way.

she stays quiet. "5.. 4.. 3-" i count, ready to get up and remove her from my life completely.

"okay! i'm sorry! i fucking cheated on you, again. but it wasn't recent and..." she rants and i zone out, just pissed and only focused on the fact she cheated. again.

"...i know fucking with kiara probably wasn't the best choice of people but i-" i'm suddenly snapped back into reality when i hear her admit not only did she cheat but with my ex best friend?

"hold up." i laugh, so pissed that i just have to laugh at it. "so, you let me sit there and beat on that girl, kick her out of my home and my life, watched me physically and mentally slip into one of the worst depressive episodes of my fucking life, lose the girl who helped get me where i am now and you were just gonna keep the shit to yourself?" i ask in a calmer tone which i can tell scares her more.

"i'm sorry.." her voice cracks.

i wanna feel sorry but i've put up with her bullshit one too many times.

my best friend? i mean, kiara wasn't innocent either, she allowed it. but billie.. sat in my face, swore her love to me and then fucked my best friend?!?! fuck both of them.

"i don't want an apology, eilish. get the fuck out of my house." i look down because i know if i look in her eyes, we're just gonna kiss and make up.. again.

"kaia.. baby.." she sobs. "you don't get to call me that. get out. i'll bring you your shit when i fucking feel like it. or maybe when you don't have one of your sex toys over." i spit in her face, now looking at her.

her once heavenly blue eyes are now dark and plain. she doesn't even look the same to me anymore.

"baby, it wasn't like that.." she cries. "what else could cheating be like?!?! are you fucking kidding me?!?? get the fuck out eilish, don't make me take you out my goddamn self." i warn, balling up my fists.

she gets up, head hanging, staring at me. "we're done, billie. i never wanna hear from you again. out." i seethe.

she walks out of my apartment for the last time, crying.

that was never how i imagined it.. or when. but it serves her the fuck right.

now as for the other bitch... i don't wanna waste my energy on her useless ass but i'm so fucking pissed right now.

i pick up my phone and text her.

"kiara, my girlfriend?? you allowed my girlfriend to cheat on me so you could get some fucking pussy??? i hope it was fucking worth it. we're not together anymore so you can fucking have her."

i have more in my head but.. that might get me locked up. sometimes i have to remember i still have a career to live up to.

i throw my phone across the room, hearing it shatter. i don't even care, i could break the whole goddamn building right now.

i take a deep breath but more anger instills itself in me when i smell billie all over my room.

i get up from my bed, ripping the entire sheet set off my bed and throwing it out the door.

i look at my vanity and see her perfumes sitting there, her hoodies and clothes on my vanity chair.

i grab all her shit and throw it out my door with a mind rattling scream. i put up with her bullshit for way too goddamn long.

she was cheating 3 weeks into our relationship and i still didn't leave. what a fucking idiot i am.

this shit is all my fault.

i enabled all of it.

i hate myself.

i fucking hate her.

i sit on my bed, my room now trashed, and pull my knees to my chest. the tears fall immediately and i feel as though my chest is caving in. 

i'm alone again. the two people who made me the happiest fucked me over because they wanted each other, not me.

i hear a knock on my door and i wipe my tears, rushing to kick all the things in my hallway back into my room and closing the door.

i make my way to the front door and open it to see finneas.

"finn- not right now." i sniff, trying to close the door but he stops me.

"kaia. you're not the first one. please, let me talk to you." he says sympathetically with pleading eyes.

one thing about finneas, he's genuine. unlike his fuck ass sister.

i open the door and let him in.

"how did you find out so fast..? why did you come to me and not her?" i ask, my mind flooded with thoughts and questions.

"she told me what happened the second she left your apartment. i came to you because if i'm being honest, she doesn't deserve comfort. you do. you're not the first one she's done this to and i'm so sorry you got caught up in it all. she swore to me that you were different but she did you the worst out of everyone. she was never loyal." he explains, a hand on my shoulder.

"why didn't you say something to me..?" my voice cracks. i don't even know if i'm sad, hurt, or just pissed at this point.

"i knew you wouldn't have listened. i put that together after you found out about aaliyah and stood. also, billie tends to loop girls back in until they get fed up with her bullshit. i don't know what it is about her that makes everyone need her so bad." he rolls his eyes and i chuckle.

"i agree, i don't know what was so special about her that i allowed myself to get hurt this bad." i hang my head, a tear falling.

"it's gonna be okay, kaia. seriously. you'll forget about her. you're strong and you're beautiful and young. you got this." he says, hugging me and i break. i cry out all my tears and he just holds me through it all.

-

when finneas left, i cleaned up my room, packed billie's stuff and left it in front of her door. i hope it gets stolen.

i lay on my bed which now has new sheets over it and i let my thoughts consume me.

....i'm going back to new york.

...

guys.. one more chapter. even tho i hate this one, hotel is coming to an end, i'm actually gonna sob.