It's been over two years since Dominic adopted Mars and their sister and a lot has happened during that timeframe. Mars found love, almost died, went into a really dark place, almost died again. After 15 long years they were finally happy, but of co...
Hope ur having a lovely day :3 If ur not, I hope I can make it better with this chapter.
This is gonna be a sad chapter and a pretty long one. Grab some snacks, a drink, blanket and get urself comfortable
Tw: Suicide, alcohol, mentions of cigarettes, Self hate, angst
Enjoy!
Awsten's POV
I'm on the ledge now. Maybe I've been here for an hour already, who knows? I'd say this is actually more than a ledge considering it's about 30 feet tall and a straight drop down.
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(^^To give u an idea)
I know it's a shitty thing to do, kill myself because I'm too scared to talk to my.....ex. They don't want to talk to me, my best friends don't, my parents only do it because they have to. I just..... don't see the point in living if Mars isn't by my side.
I stepped forward a bit. I'm still a good few feet away from doom but close enough to scare my mom.
The fact I talked shit about their dad even though I respect the hell out of him, it really fucking angers me. There's no point in cutting anymore, it's better to just end myself.
I took a couple steps forward, now only a foot away from doom.
I can give you 10 reasons for why I should end myself right here, right now....
1. I'm pathetic 2. I complain all the time yet don't do anything to fix it 3. I cheated on the love of my life for literally no reason 4. My best friends ditched me because I was an idiot 5. I'm not strong 6. I'm selfish 7. I still live with my parents 8. I talked shit about someone who's really helped me through so much 9. It's been 7 months now and I still haven't built up the courage to talk to Mars 10. No one cares enough to stop me
No one cares enough to stop me.
Yeah, no one really does care. They don't even know I'm here.
I took a few steps closer, stumbled a bit because the whole world is spinning like crazy now.
"OoH shiiT," I slurred as I slipped a little more than intended and leaned forward, off the edge, unintentionally. As quickly as I could I leaned backwards and back onto safe ground.
Fuck, that was a close one.
....it was a close one. Why don't I just jump? Am I too much of a pussy now that I can't even just take a little jump? .......no, that's not why I can't jump.
It's because..... I won't kill myself unless I'm 100% sure they still hate me. Even though I know they do and if they ever found out about what I said about Dom, they'd kill me without a single thought. If they did kill me at least I'd die while being with the one person I truly loved and didn't fake any of the feelings even once.
