Broken(adopted by YUNGBLUD part 3)

Pernicious

WHADDUP MY BADDIES

search up the title name, you'll understand why I used it

I try to update this book as much as I can, really I do. Whenever I have the time I will update, I promise

Ermmm anyways let's get started

Tw: anxiety, mentions of suicide

"Are you sure you wanna do this? Even after what happened last time?"

I nodded at Rafe who was standing with me at my locker, "yes, it's time. Oli will be there with me so I won't stress as much. Even if it doesn't go well at least I'll know I tried."

He shrugged, "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

*later*

"You ready, Rocky?"

I stared past Oli, through the window of the room we stood in front of. Awsten was out of view from where I was, but I knew he was in there.

"I-I think so," I mumbled, looking up at Oli.

He nodded. Grabbing hold of the door handle, he slowly turned it, as if adding more suspense. When he did finally open the door, he stepped inside. I slowly followed behind him.

"Oh, hey Oli!" I heard Awsten say just before his eyes landed on me. "I- u-um... y-you're here."

I cautiously nodded, not really sure what else to do. It was silent for a few moments neither of the three of us knowing what to do, then Oli spoke up. "So.....Awsten, are you doing alright after the...um, you know?"

I stared into Awsten's eyes, studying his features and watching his expression. "I-I'm doing al-alright, thanks."

I guess he was as nervous as me.

Oli looked down at me, silently asking me if I wanted to say something, anything. The thing is, I don't know what to say. I can't decide whether I should be mad at Awsten because of him cheating or if I should feel bad for him because he tried to fucking commit suicide.

Awsten's POV

Are they still mad at me?

Am I kidding myself, of course they fucking are.

I can't read their expression, it's just a blank. Maybe they're just as confused as I am. Maybe they're just trying to confuse me. Why can they still make me feel like this, even after seven months? It's like they're invading my thoughts and now they're all I can think about. Well, I guess that's how it's been since what happened.

Maybe if I say something nice it will be less tense? I don't know, I guess I could try.

"I- um, I like the new hair," I said, gesturing to the pink streak peeking under their black hair. Kinda like Dom's old hair.

I could see them smile a little bit but it faded away as soon as it appeared. "Thanks," they muttered in a hushed tone.

It was silent for a little bit but then I heard their voice, that soft yet bittersweet voice.

"Your hair's not too bad either."

I smiled softly, watching as a blush spread over their face. Oli smiled, probably proud we weren't murdering each other or something.

He whispered something to Mars and they nodded, whispering something back. "I'll just be in the lobby," I heard him say before he waved a goodbye to me and then left. I guess we're alone now.

They looked at me, I saw their blush had fallen. The atmosphere became tense again and silence enveloped us. We're in our heads once again.

There's something I need to do, regardless of how they take it. Something I should've done a long time ago but I was too much of a pussy.

"I'm sorry, Mars, for everything. For hurting you, for almost killing myself without apologizing, for letting you suffer for so long, all of it. You don't need to forgive me. Just know that I regret all of it and I hate myself so fucking much for causing you all of that pain."

There. I did it.

They looked up at me, tears building up in their gorgeous green eyes. I can't bear to see them cry. Not like this.

Before I knew it I was in front of them and wrapping my arms around their small body. I didn't think about how badly this could end up, just acted based on what my heart told me.

"Don't cry Mars, please," I whispered. They did pretty much the opposite, sobbing into my side.

"Mars..."

I remembered something from a while ago, before everything. We were in a similar situation as now. Hopefully it will work again.

As gently as humanly possible, I moved one of my hands keeping the other wrapped around them, and ran my fingers through their hair.

"Shhh, it's alright Mars. I'm here, I won't leave you."

They calmed down a bit, their sobs turning to faint cries and then just silent tear drops. Only when they completely calmed down I let them go, just a bit though.

"You okay?" I asked them, keeping my voice at a steady tone. They nodded, wiping a stray tear away from their cheek.

"What happened?" I asked them.

They shrugged, shaking their head. I remembered that action as something they did when they didn't want to talk about it and nodded, showing I understood.

It went silent for a few. I guess we didn't know quite what we wanted to say or feel. "I'm just....glad you're okay, Awsten."

They pulled me into a proper hug, burying their head into my chest, similar to how it was before everything. I grinned, hugging them back. Then I remember something and backed away a bit. They looked up at me confusedly.

"You're not mad?" I questioned, looking deep into their green orbs.

They sighed, "I don't even know at this point. I'd rather we not talk about that.....if it's okay with you."

I smiled, "anything for you, Mars."

As soon as I said that I regretted it. Fuck, I'm so stupid, what is wrong with me?! This is the first time I've seen them in over seven months and I had to say that shit.

I watched how they reacted carefully. They paused for a moment before just ignoring it.

Phew, I can't go and say anything like that again, not until things go back to normal. Or as close to normal as they can get.

//:/:;///////;::////:;:://///////::;///:;;://;;:///:;:/:;:/::;:::;::///:;////:::/;:;/;::/:::://////;/;/;/;:///;/;/;

From friends, to lovers, to strangers, to friends

will they become lovers again?

Byeee🖤🤘🖤