Chosen: From the Ashes

It's alright to be scared

"...and he's dying now, he knows, as his eyes slowly fall on the trembling hands that hold the killer's lightsaber, HIS hands. His own hands soiled in Obi-Wan's blood, hands that drilled a hole in Obi-Wan's heart and stilled it forever."

[ so ]: Anakin tries really hard to be brave... he doesn't manage it. Obi-Wan has a breakdown, Anakin isn't far behind. He talks with Padmé, finds out about his most terrifying fear (realizes he's a crybaby) and still can't tell Obi-Wan anything. He's doomed. (nothing new actually)
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Obi-Wan knows.

Anakin is 100 percent sure. What he isn't sure about, is exactly what he knows. If Anakin is to follow Vokara Che's theory and make a guess, it's the Mustafar dream they shared. Hopefully only the dream, though it doesn't really change much of his kriffing situation. He is sure about the dream, because it was different from anything he dreamed and saw and remembers before.

The question is - what now?

Obi-Wan says nothing that would even hint that he knows something, but Anakin would be blind to not see that. His Master's distressed expression, stiff shoulders, eyes that look like they'd burst out crying any next second and seeking him out every other second, as if to not lose his Padawan from his sight not even for a moment, his often trembling breaths and long sighs, like he is trying to forcefully calm himself down and is failing, for he never looked quite remotely calm since that incident, his exhaustion over-present physical (from lack of sleep he guesses) and emotional (self-explanatory), both visible in the way he looks, moves, talks and even breathes. Obi-Wan is now always on edge and there's only a pale shadow left from his characteristic calm and overtight control. He looks like he barely can keep himself together and Anakin suspects only in front of him and for him. In private it must be worse. Much worse. Everything is getting worse. They both try to ignore the Hutt in the room and obviously twirl around it bypassing anything that could ruffle it. Alright. Anakin is a child (he isn't of course, but Anakin is still Anakin), yet how Obi-Wan is dancing to the same song, Anakin is nonplused. His master never and he would like to underline that, never would hesitate to do something to get answers to his questions. No, now Obi-Wan forgets all his charm and silver tongue and Force forbid a joint meditation, so literally nothing to pursue his Padawan to at least talk with him and of course, his Padawan is secretly relishing in that deceptive relief. Anakin is good at ignoring things, especially important things, so the dance continues with raising uneasiness and no small amount of tension crackling around both of them. They do not avoid each other, that's excluded of course, yet over-carefulness, awkwardness and hesitation fills the both of them, though Obi-Wan still holds the lead.

Anakin knows it can't continue like that. One day it will snap and it does. Then Anakin returns from his classes, he finds his master curled on the sofa, as if he just fell asleep. The younger gives in the temptation and brushes with his force his Master's mind and he shivers at what he feels. The gentle serenity and comfort that is Obi-Wan's whole being and force, his mind beautiful, calm, is now crumbled in pieces of ice clashing against each other and crushing further still. Anakin feels his whole body getting cold. Without thinking, he puts a hand gently on his master's forehead thinking the other may got himself sick. No. Obi-Wan's skin feels slightly cold at the touch and he has no fever. Anakin's hand slides down to his cheek and strokes it softly. Obi-Wan sighs in answer. The boy smiles at that, he takes his hand back, however, a strangled "no" is thrown in his face, Obi-Wan jerks awake, eyes wide open and one hand grabs Anakin's in a deadly hold, already pulling it to his side. His master's bright eyes waters and bores into his with such a fierce intensity that the younger shivers (again). The pulled hand is dragging his all body down and with Anakin's eyes captured, unable to move away from the light blue piercing him, he can't stop himself in time from falling in his Master's lap. There are long miserable seconds of stillness with Anakin positively blushing now and Obi-Wan taking a too quick breath in.