Chosen: From the Ashes

A mistake

"Force, can the boy frustrate him like no other.
Mission. Right.
Siths. War stopping. Jedi saving.Easy. No sweat. A fly to Kamino and back.Obi-Wan snorts.Well, definitely easier than: Visions. Breakdowns. Bond. Blue eyes. Kiss-"[in short]: Obi-Wan is freaking out. Like epically. he even gets to sass the whole mission and Anakin... and Anakin.

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W/T: freaking out, life crisis, Master-parenting-Obi-Wan crisis you call it.

That must be hormones.

Teenagers have those. Right. Anakin is almost 13. He isn't that skinny, fragile boy from Tatooine anymore, he is growing, and fast, Obi-Wan has to remember that. He isn't a child anymore, even if he is behaving like one sometimes. Though really, too few times, if Obi-Wan thinks of it. Anakin is mostly so collected, strong-witted and mature in both words and behavior, (his colorful language including), that he forgets more times than not, how young his Padawan truly is. And at that time, it felt like they were so... so alike, in words and feelings and thought, like... like equals somehow...

Oh, by the blasting stars, is he mad. Obi-Wan Kenobi, you brainless, crazy drydak! You're in such a deep Poodoo, as Anakin says it. What in the name of the Force did he do right then?! Or better said what he didn't. For Obi-Wan Kenobi, jedi Master extraordinaire, a fully 28 years grown-up man, couldn't even speak a word and just stayed stone-frozen there, the. whole. dashing. time!, and stars, was that hard. It could have been the place, maybe partially, but he knows the reason.

Anakin.

His Padawan.

It was so stunning and disarraying, dizzying even, like a switch of light, that for a moment it disoriented him and the moment was stretching longer, with every word the boy said, the ease and utter calm in his manner, how cozy and relaxed he laid down there, face free of any shadows of the despair and hurt and tears only from a second before. The boy just stood there, curled a bit, quiet and peaceful, and Obi-Wan could feel waves of fulfillment and light serenity coming out of his Padawan. He realized then that Anakin was never this calm before. He always was worried about something, carried pain, burdens and exhaustion, so deeply sealed in his bones, even then smiling, and perhaps also then genuinely being happy over something, it was still there, in his eyes. Eyes that stopped to be a child's long ago.

However, not then and there. Anakin was bare of his past, and future and all the pain and heavy feelings strangling him, he was in his pure form, something jedi are aiming all their lives, yet Anakin had it right there and it was so awe-striking, it dazed him completely. There, in his mind space, his subconscious, like a surreal piece of space, torn from this universe, from the present. Obi-Wan is himself at shock, of how he managed that. It was so deep in his mind, he would take years to find the path towards it again. No, he'll have to learn it and try and try until he'll find it, ideally in a few days or at longest weeks. So far, it's the only place where he saw Anakin feeling truly free, at least Obi-Wan didn't know about another one, which would help him steady his mind and condition so well. For this one place to be inside Obi-Wan's mind and where he was outright naked with all his feelings and sensations and deepest thoughts on full display for Anakin to see, to feel it all – is a very disturbing and unnerving thought. The boy's heavy nearly intimidating stare was like dissecting his every nerve and line and fragment inside and he could only let him ravage and take anything he wanted, utterly paralyzed, helpless to even breath something against it. Though Obi-Wan isn't that sure, if he really was against that. He remembers feeling willing, since Anakin kissed his hand, for he did that didn't he?, his mind was mush and a clouded mass of melted brains no less, for how otherwise, he can explain the total lack of coherent thought and inability to articulate any words, stars, what to say, breathing was already the hardest task.