Chosen: From the Ashes

Guilt and Peace

"A second chance. Warmth. Love. Trust. Happiness if he chooses to forget everything. He's given so much, more than he ever had... and with every small smile, warm hand or caring gaze he's gifted with, Anakin Skywalker dies."

[so]: 1st part, it's Anakin highest level of brooding [i'm kidding] it's the real deal.
the 2nd part - omg where shall i even begin, Anakin is force-drunk so he knows no limits and unfortunately Obi-Wan is the unlucky one to be there and get burned by it.i'm tempted to title this ch "the last day of Anakin Skywalker"
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W/T: it's literally nothing but.. it's grave. "assault", (underage tho it's not)
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Guilt.

There's no other feeling more human than guilt.

Nothing can expose the human flaws, its own confines better than guilt. A merciless helplessness, a cruel impotence, a laughable debility, no hundreds of it, define a human and no other feeling proves it better than karking guilt. For only then, you're made aware of your human condition. The utter misery and absurdity of it. A most hilarious farce playing before your eyes and you would have laughed your ass off at the priceless dumbstruck Krolpface the human has upon finally realizing it, how it crinking sucks being one... yeah, if it wasn't you, made the sodding loser of this play.

No, you must have everything, given everything you ever could wish for, power, fame, luck, love, have the world on your knees or thinking yourself above it all, above death itself, above everyone, for only you have the right to have it all and do whatever you want with it. You are free, you are able and justly entitled to decide what should or shouldn't happen, what is your own, who is yours and belongs to you. For you are none other than Anakin Skywalker. The one and only Chosen One this galaxy had ever known, the legendary Jedi, the "Hero with No Fear" every being in this galaxy has heard about, fearless since the famous hero forgot he's just a human.

He didn't forget. He acted like he did, because it was easier. It was easier to live in the illusion of him being invincible, 'cause otherwise... he would remember what he really is, like when his mother died. A human. No, less still. A small pathetic weak human and he knew it then.

Fear.

Even with him still having his cherished "all", he threw himself to gain even more. To get more admiration, more recognition, more honor, praise, love... but most of all, power. Only more power, the supreme power could face his fears. Could crush it. Erase it forever. Wipe out this annoying defect blemishing his existence. He's no ordinary human. He's above it. For he has it all and can have even more.

Yes, he can. He will... it's what he thought.

He never actually asked himself why was he offered so much?! Why was he given everything that made him feel important, feel wanted, feel...happy.

Oh, the answer is never simpler.

Because it will make a karking good show of watching him lose it all. It will be so much satisfying to see everything he had, crumble before his very eyes, no, better yet, blasting it all with his own hands, will it not? Falling to degraded mindless scug, no, even lower, for he became nothing more than a slave...willingly. To Palpatine, to power, to fear.

He threw away anything left human in himself because he was afraid to live as one.

And he would have wandered off forever, lost, blind, senseless, like a walking dead in endless darkness, if not for the pain waking him from his trance. Anakin Skywalker would have been dead to the world and to himself foremost, since to think himself alive, to call himself with that name again, would mean to accept everything he did.