it had been a total of five days before hazel returned to california, a weight lifted off their shoulder the moment they left. the only thing on their mind as they made their way home is lying in dominic's bed and forgetting about the emotional warfare they just endured.
for some reason though, he wasn't answering the phone. it confused them a bit because he always answered when they called. they tried not to overthink or freak out about it, reminding themselves that he did indeed exist outside of being their boyfriend. they couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling in their gut they felt brewing though.
they tried to shake off the feeling as they unpacked their suitcase and attempted to settle down their anxiety by watching tv, cooking, anything to keep their mind occupied but they couldn't stop thinking about him. it wasn't until they refreshed their instagram feed that they began to really feel bad.
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he was ignoring them and hazel didn't know what to do about it. they had called three times, sent countless text, nothing changed. tears had began to fill their eyes at the thought. they hated the idea of dominic being upset with them, ignoring them. it made them feel so helpless as well as triggered a couple of unhealed wounds.
hazel took a deep breath as they hopped out of bed, they decided if they wanted to fix things they'd have to confront him about it. so the got dressed and headed to his place.
the car ride was anxiety inducing, they weren't even sure if he was there or if approaching the situation like this was the right decision, after all he hadn't responding to them. it was clear he didn't wanna speak to them, he was avoiding them. it wasn't a reality they could sit with so hazel had to fix things. if the two just talked things would be better, they were sure of that.
when hazel finally arrived, they pulled into the driveway taking a deep breath before getting out and knocking on his door. they could've sworn they heard his footsteps and that made them sick. the queasy feeling in their gut only intestines when dominic opened the door.
it was love, this feeling. the fear that brewed within them stemmed from love and they realized that as they made eye contact with the boy, their heart swelling as they took in his features. he was their everything. "i didn't know you were coming" was all he said as he opened the door wider letting them. he seemed a little cold, hesitant. it made the burning in their throat feel like they were losing their breath.
"yeah um, i wanted to talk to you but i couldn't reach you so i thought maybe i should give this a shot" they said as they headed towards the living room. dominic sat on large white sofa, manspreading as he waited on hazels words. it was an intimidating position to be in and hazel fidgeted with their fingers as they stood above him, too anxious to sit down.
"i could be overthinking, i do that a lot so if i'm wrong then i'm sorry for accusing you but it feels like you're avoiding me and i don't like that feeling." hazel spoke, powering through those words in front of him proved to be more difficult then they had hoped but they did.
they watched dominic closely, his features morphing into something they couldn't quite read as he gathered his response. he sat up in his seat and hazel braced themselves for whatever was coming next
"i wouldn't say i'm full on avoiding you but i definitely am retracting my energy for now. i don't like how i feel when i'm sort of waiting for you to come back around. i also noticed some guys flirting with you before you left and it made me blood boil honestly, so i just i'm falling back til it feels safe to me" he confessed and hazels heart sank.
they didn't think them being gone would take such a toll on him, especially with them checking in whenever they could. it's not like they just disappeared on him. they understood his perception though, if the roles were reversed hazel wasn't sure if they'd be able to handle it either.
however, the flirting thing never really rang a bell. hazel had guy friends of course, but they all knew how crazy they were for dominic. everyone did, so who could he think was trying to make a move on them ? hazel was sensitive always has been so trying to communicate caused their voice to crack and an uncomfortable burn in their nose as they spoke.
"how do you think you retracting your energy towards me, your partner is gonna make me feel." they questioned looking down at their feet. they knew that if they looked at him they'd start to cry, and they didn't want that.
"i know the past few days have been really shitty but everything was honestly out of my control. i'm sorry. when i've been available though, i devoted my time and attention to you because i love you" they continued pausing to take a deep breath as they felt their chest getting tight.
"my absence wasn't really my choice either and i'd appreciate it if you didn't. as soon as made it back to town you were the first thing on my mind and i wanted to see you immediately but you weren't answering or responding and then i see you posting and it just wasn't a good feeling. it feels like i'm being punished honestly, i don't want you to be upset with me and it feels like you're pulling away and i'm asking you please don't do that. you can talk to me if you're not comfortable or if something is making you upset and i'll fix it but i need that communication from you." they said and a tear they'd been fighting back finally slipped.
dominics heart sank at the sight. he hated to see hazel cry, he didn't wanna upset them. he didn't know what to say and before he could say anything hazel got down on their knees and looked up at him as they spoke.
"nobody matters to me more than you. i love you. you're my person. i show you that, don't i ? i go out of my way to show you that. if someone was flirting with me it didn't register but cause i only see you. i care about you. i'm with you. i'm yours, just yours. i don't wanna be apart from you and i'm sorry just, please don't be upset with me. please." they went on.
"i'm sorry." dominic said and hazel felt relieved. not just at the apology but that the coldness that once covered him had vanished and he was there again, open and present with them.
"retracting my energy wasn't the best decision i guess, it felt safer. if i did that i was protecting myself incase the worst happened. i'm still really new to this, i haven't really ever given any of my other partners my all so i think i'm learning as i go along. i understand now how that made you feel and i didn't mean to hurt you. i didn't mean to make you cry. he continued as he wiped a faint tear off the corner of hazels cheek with his thumb.
also the other day, when you said you should've told me about about your family stuff before making things official i took that as i guess you not being comfortable or trusting me. i don't think thats what you meant now but it made me feel bad. i think thats when i started thinking i needed space" he finally stated and hazel nodded
"if you ever need space i'm more than willing to give it you especially if you wanna process emotions before communicating. it just seemed like you were mad at me and not that you needed space. i promise you this, i'll never abandon you. i'll do all i can to be honest and vulnerable and reassure you when needed. i am more than willing to meet your needs but i need you to communicate with me. thats all i ask. i am all in with you dominic, completely. please know that" hazel reassured and dominic smiled at the last part.
this was the love he had been wishing for. a love that healed him in ways he never knew were possible. "i thought you were regretting being with me" he confessed and hazel cupped his face with their hands forcing the two to make eye contact. "no, never. you're the best things that have ever happened to me. i was just a little ashamed about my shit. it can be humiliating at times" they replied as dominic wrapped his hands around their wrist.
"we all have our own family stuff. things were not proud of. lord knows i do but, you don't have to hide that from me. i understand, trust me." he reassured before pulling hazel into his lap their heart melted. they felt safe again in his arms and he felt more love for hazel then he ever had as he listened to them talk about their home life knowing how hard that amount of vulnerability was for them.
the two loved each other desperately. this they knew for sure.
