he hated to admit it but hazel was right, dom wasn't the same guy he had been when the two had first met and that was a hard pill to swallow. he recognized it now as he joined hazel with their friends for a night of bowling.
dominic felt like the elephant in the room being surrounded by all of these people who knew him but didn't know him, not really. they didn't know him for his talent, for his warm smile, for the little things he did that showed he cared, the love he gave hazel when he felt like he could, all the good things about him.
they only knew the sides of himself that he was ashamed of, like when him and hazel would fight and that impulse, that anger would take over and he would become someone else, something else.
the moments where he had hurt someone he loved most, moments where he was immature, not him. not what was truly inside of him and he hated that. the perception of him that people held onto weighed him down like an anchor, he couldn't deny it.
he was so uncomfortable, it made him sick and hazel started to notice. it was in the way he was sitting, the fact that he wasn't talking as much, he didn't wanna play this round, he was a shell, not the lively man they knew and it caught them off guard.
hazel walked towards him, sitting in the seat right next to his and turned to look at him. how was tonight gonna go, they wondered. "whats going on with you rockstar, whats up" they questioned trying to catch a vibe from him but they couldn't he shook his head no sniffling a little bit, hazel scrunched their eyebrows together as they watched him. "nothing, i'm straight" dominic responded turning his head and letting off a weak smile, he knew it wouldn't convince them but it was worth a shot
"i hate to call you a liar or say i don't believe you but i'm not entirely convinced" hazel continued and dominic crossed his arms over his chest "just drop it, i don't wanna fight tonight" he said as he stood up walking towards the front door and hazel felt the gears in their head turning as he did so "fight tonight, what ?" they questioned as they stood up following him and you could tell hazel was in utter dismay, confusion written all over their face.
dom rolled his eyes as he looked outside noticing the men with camera's waiting on the door to move, it was making him irrietable everything was irritating him. he walked towards the back, where the restrooms were motioning for hazel to follow him and they did just that. when the two made it inside the single stall restroom, hazel internally gagged at the scenery before turning their attention to dominic who was standing in front of the door.
"why'd you invite me here" he asked and hazel still couldn't grasp what the situation was about. "we don't ever really hang out unless we're at my house or yours and i thought like, you'd wanna spend time with me. i wanted to spend time with you." they confessed and the man looked down at his shoes before looking back at hazel. it was so strange to him, they would scream and fight and shout.
they'd go weeks, a month without speaking to each other but it felt wrong. even this felt wrong, nothing was easy anymore and it didn't make sense. why was it impossible for him to let hazel go ? why was it impossible to just be in love with them, he loved them that much. as they looked up at him with their brown eyes, their eyes were so wide he felt like they were really seeing him. other people looked at him but hazel's gaze, they really looked at him.
"if you wanted for us to like hangout in public, just us. why invite everyone else" he asked and hazel sighed "i do wanna hang out just us, in public but. i invited you tonight because all my friends and i were going on and i wanted you to be there. make a memory, we use to have so much fun." hazel continued and they let out a soft smile, but they weren't getting it. they weren't getting him which seemed to be a huge theme in their relationship / friendship / whatever this truly was.
"they don't like me, i don't like them and you know that" dominic spoke and hazel shook their head no "you can't deny that, its true. lana has been shooting daggers at me since i got here and you should've seen the look alicia gave me when she walked by me, which is crazy cause she doesn't even know me" dom said and hazel protested "i know you and lana butt heads a lot but she promised to be normal so i'll handle it and i'm sorry about alicia" hazel went on but the man shook his head as he ran his fingers through his curls briefly
"none of that is even the point, its just the principle i guess. this should've worked out, us hanging with your friends but it doesn't. none of them really know me and they hate me and thats not on me" dominic stated flatly and hazel didn't know what to think of that last part, was he blaming them ? "so you're saying it's on me?" hazel questioned and he rolled his eyes again "i just think you make me look like someone i'm not" he confessed and hazel didn't know what to say. they scoffed as they took a step back, trying not to run into anything. the bathroom was so tight and closed off.
"no one is making you look bad, you talk to your friends about us right ? why can't i" hazel asked genuinely, they wish they understood. he was obviously upset and they wish they could've met him where he was at but truly, they didn't understand.
they never cared about what people thought about dominic or the two's complicated bond, of course they were aware the whole world was watching. they felt eyes on them when the two publicly interacted on social media, or refrenced the other while working, hazel knew not everyone approved of them platonically or otherwise because of how rocky things could get but they truly couldn't find it in them to care because, hazel loved him. hazel was a person willing to sacrifice things if it meant things would be better in the end, but one thing they refused to sacrifice for anyone and anything was dominic.
"i don't care about what my friends think about you or us. i don't care what anyone thinks, the only thing that matters to me is you and what you think and how you feel. i choose you every time." hazel continued and although those were the perfect words, it made him feel special how much they were willing to give up to keep him, he knew deep down it wasn't right.
"the thing is hazel, you shouldn't have to" he said before clearing his throat "we can't keep doing this" dom muttered and hazel gasped once every word hit them. "lets just go back outside, i'll talk to them. we'll have fun and then we can go back home just us and i can cook and we can watch nightmare on elm street. we can still have a good night, i promise" hazel suggested as they took his hand and interlocked their fingers with his.
hazel looked up at him, trying to make eye contact but he couldn't. dominic just shook his head no as he looked at the cieling, trying to stop the tears from clouding his eyes and making his vision blurry. realistically, hazel and dominic had only broken up once.
they'd only been in a relationship for a short amount of time. this he knew to be true. however, he couldn't ignore how each time they left one another it hurt worse than the last. this time felt different though, it felt real. typically, at this point dominic was angry and his feelings clouded everything else he did. thats how hazel knew, this was real.
dominic took a deep breath as he gathered the courage to look at them and when he did hazel squeezed onto his hand a little tighter and his heart warmed as he took them in. in the flesh, hazel was the first person he ever loved and even though they didn't know it he would always love hazel.
the tears he had been holding back slipped and hazel knew. "it's getting late, i gotta go" he said as he retracted his hands from theirs and hazel began to cry too.
before he left though, he cupped hazel's face with his hands and leaned over to place a sweet kiss to their lips. which for some reason caused them to cry harder. when he pulled back he caressed their face before placing a kiss to their cheek before turning around and walking out leaving hazel there alone.
hazel felt like he took pieces of them every time he went away and that there was nothing left of them now.
