A Lost Creation

Festive Blues

You sit in a conference room with Himiko, Uncle Jin, Atsuhiro and Spinner, minding your own business, drawing quietly in your sketchbook with a pencil while swinging your legs under the table.
You hadn't really been talking much today at all. You'd woken up with that empty, heavy feeling weighing down on your chest, and it made you not really want to talk to anyone.
The others had given up trying to get you to be your usual chirpy self, just letting you continue to draw your pictures as long as you seem content doing so. They were being their usual selves, Jin and Himiko being all cuddly and giggly and playing around with each other while Spinner throws the occasional comment in, and Atsuhiro brings them back down to earth when they all start getting a little too rowdy.

They did keep checking in on you occasionally though, Himiko would always be sure to coo over your drawing and rub her cheek against yours, Uncle Jin would just randomly pet your hair while he was talking to the others, Atsuhiro would say: 'are you okay, little lady?' here and there, and Spinner would give quiet words of praise and reassurance that your drawing was really good.
You weren't sure why you were feeling so weird today. You don't think you were getting sick, it was too similar to the way you had felt a little while ago now, when Dabi had reassured you that whatever it was wasn't going to last forever, but while it was there, he would look after you.
But he wasn't right now, because he had to work, and Tomura was still away.

You missed Tomura a lot. You missed having him around as a relatively calming presence. You missed him teaching you math instead of Uncle Jin, because Jin was a little confusing at the best of times, and Atsuhiro explained things in a way that was too complicated for you.
You missed playing shrines with him a lot, too. You missed being close to him while you were playing, because it was the only time you felt like he was completely relaxed with you pressed against him. You even miss seeing him and Dabi share brief kisses, which is something you thought you'd never say or think. There was something reassuring in seeing them doing it, like if they still loved each other, things were okay and you were still a family.

You missed mom, too. It was getting close to Christmas. You could hear other people talking about it when you wandered around Dabi's workplace, the coworkers that you didn't really have much to do with asking the others if they were going to be seeing their families and if they had any plans. And although you never really had Christmas with your mom, you liked watching the movies while she slept on the couch. When Grandma was around, sometimes she would come to your house and argue with your mom a little while she made special food for you both. You never got any presents really, the present was the special food and having Grandma to talk to and play with for a little while, your mom usually sleeping the day away as usual. It wasn't the same kind of Christmas that you'd see in the movies, but it was your version of Christmas, and the idea of not having that made the weight on your chest ache even more.

Because you had a new family now, and you loved them, but they hadn't spoken about Christmas, and you hadn't heard any of the music or watched any of the movies yet. So you wondered if you'd even have a Christmas at all.
You're completely lost in thought as you continue to shade in the scar on the portrait of Tomura you're doing, as part of your job you needed to do while he was away, but it seems to attract Himiko's attention.

"What're you thinking about, Star?" She asks curiously, her own yellow eyes thoughtful as she scans your face. She grins at you soon after. "You look so cute right now!"

She rubs her cheek against yours affectionately again, gently wrapping her arms around your shoulders so as to not jog you. She'd done that earlier and you'd accidentally snapped at her, and Atsuhiro had to calm the situation down. You felt a little bad about it, but you wanted the drawing to be perfect for when you saw Tomura again.

"Christmas." You reply quietly, continuing to draw even with Himiko pressed against you like you're one of your teddies.

"Oooh! I love Christmas!" Himiko replies excitedly. "Have you written a letter to Santa yet?"