To The End (Frerard, Rikey)

Finding Out

Frank's POV

Okay, well, err, this is awkward. I poke my pork on the plate with my fork and twirl it around. Mother is oposite me, eating quietly, not even making eye contact with me. Oh yeah, now she shuts me out. Wait, she's already done that...multiple times...Why do I even bother?

I look back down to the plate and still notcie it's packed with mash, pork, carrots, peas and a yorkishire pudding. I try and taste the mash, because it looks the most edible. I cringe immediately after the patatoe touches my tongue and I spit it out, choking slightly. Mum doesn't even look up.

"Eat the pork."

I gag in my mouth and try and get the taste out of my mouth. At least mum knows how to talk, too bad it's the wrong words. Pork? Me eat? Nuh-uh. Vegetarian here people, please tell me my mother didn't forget I was  a vegetarian.

And she forgot.

"I can't," I mumble, resting my forehead in my hand.

"And why not?" she sighs.

"It's meat," I state simply, diverting my eye line to the window.

"Just eat it, or don't eat at all," mum tells me, not even looking up.

I nod slightly, taking one last look at my plate. I sigh as I push it away from me and stand up. My legs carry me out of the dining room and up the stairs and I slam my bedroom door behind me.

I groan and scream out loud before jumping onto my bed and smacking the duvet. I sigh as I lay on my back, covering my eyes with my hands. She's impossible. Here is impossible. Why did everything get so hard? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I've changed. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe she wants me to change, be a different person. Like that's ever going to happen. She can dream, but it won't come true.

I turn slightly so I can look at my wardrobe in all it's glory, and then my eyes evert to the cabinet, and there it is. My phone.

I smile slightly and reach for it, snatching it up and jumping on my bed again. I type in the number I know so well that I could type it with my eyes closed.

Me- Hey, Gee, it's torture here. Help?

I put it back on my bedside table and look at the cieling. I can't even stay still. I plug in my iPod and listen to Black Flag songs, turning up the volume really loud until I can't hear anything else but them. It doesn't exactly help my situation, but it takes my mind off of things for a bit.

After about ten minutes, I still have no reply from Gerard, so I take out my earphones and grab my guitar, plucking a few strings. I smile slightly, I haven't played the guitar in so long.

I look back at my phone. No reply whatsoever. That's odd, he replies in the first three minutes, not fifteen. I shrug, maybe he didn't get it, or maybe he's a bit busy with family problems. That sounds about right.

I grab my phone again and type in a different number, Ray's.

Me- Hey, Ray. How you holding up over there?

I smile smugly and turn back to my guitar, and play a familiar tune. And then there's a loud thud on my window, making me jolt off of the bed, making me fall flat onto my hard floor. A groan escaped my mouth as I tried to sit up. I stumble towards my window and open it, a smashed snowball effect on the side of it.

"Hey, faggot!"

I look down and I scowl at Bert below me.

"Fuck you, what the heck you doing here?" I snap loud enough so he could hear me.

"Wondering how my pal is holding up," he snarks sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Patrick is doing fine. Now buzz off," I shout angrily.

"And what if I don't?" he says, folding his arms.

I roll my eyes and pull my window shut again. I ignore the sounds of protest and sit on my bed again, turning to look at my phone. No answer.

Really? Is everyone ignoring me? Would Mikey pick up? Nope, Mikes won't answer for anybody. I learned that when I phoned everyone I knew when I got stuck in that burning building. At least I got out in the end. Turns out Mikes was at a bookclub. Fat load of good that did for me. But I'm alright now.

I sigh and try one last time. Bob.

Me- IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?

I hold my phone patiently for the next two minutes when the buzzer went off, showing me that I did not get an ugly disease taht people would avoid me for.

Bob- Heyya, mate. What's happenin'?

I toss my phone on the cabinet and head for my door. I sling it open and run downstairs to retrieve my coat.

"I'm going to Gerard's, checking on him and Mikes," I call back, she wouldn't care though.

I bite my lip when I get no reply, and slam the front door as I left the soulless building I call home.