With Him || Heehoon

CHAP 14

( quite a confusing chapter. )

Sunghoon's POV

Weeeeeeesshhhh...

Fuck my life.

I grabbed the pillow over at the end and rolled it over my head trying to block out the kettle sound.

I can't believe this! Seriously, if it means using up my savings to buy a new silent kettle, then so be it.

The pillow having failed me I sat up on the bed, my head pounding like it's gonna explode at any moment.

I grabbed my head swearing under my breath. I was also thirsty, like I haven't tasted water In years. Morning hangover are the absolutely worse.

After 10 minutes of failed relaxation I marched down the stairs.

"Hoon, good mor--" my mom started but cut herself off when she saw me.

I grabbed my usual coffee mug, the aspirin and a water bottle and a lemon from the fridge. Going upstairs without saying a word.

First off, I took a sip of the hot coffee. gulped down the aspirin pills, then cut the lemon in two half and ate one half, all the while hissing, wincing and cussing.

By the time I was done with the half the lemon, I was already wide awake and my tongue, paralyzed. 

I sighed closing my eyes and my nerves relax. my head was still pounding but I don't fell like dying anymore. this is why I hate drinking, but I can't help it. 

Some days just have to be forgotten, even its for a little while. Plus I drank way too much last night, I drank enough to run a bar with. Well if not for heeseung I wouldn't have. 

I ran a hand through my face remembering heeseung. if he wasn't my designated driver, I wouldn't have drank so much.

I would have drank just enough to enable me to walk home from where ever and get into bed. And also if not for him and his bad boyish ways I would've drunk just enough.

I forced myself off the bed and walked to my mirror. I was still dressed in yesterdays clothes. my black and white strip hoodie and dark jeans. no shoes and jacket tho, heeseung must have pulled those off. 

My hair looked worse then ever, tangled together and sticking out everywhere. No wonder my mother stop speaking. I got rid of my clothes and headed for the showers. 

In the shower, I let myself think, remembering last night and heeseung. I let myself free last night. For once last night, I wanted to be the unguarded Sunghoon. 

The free one. The one who smile and not scowl. The one who laughed and not glare. It was going fine. I was laughing with heeseung, we were fine. Too fine even. The best friends. 

Then the drinks finished and when wonyoung offered that we go raid the unfortunate Host's drink vault. I couldn't stop myself.

I wanted more and she needed help opening the door. I went with her, expecting heeseung to be there when we return.

Unfortunately we almost got caught and had to hide, because of this we wasted lot of time and by the time I returned, heeseung was gone.

I searched for him. Something I didn't think I'd ever do in my life.

And when I found him, he was with a girl. His arms all over her. Maybe it was alcohol. No, no maybe.

It was definitely the alcohol because seeing him and whoever isn't supposed to hurt. It especially wasn't supposed to hurt that bad. I felt.... stabbed.

I didn't reach out to him or anything. I just sat down and drank, torturing myself and daring myself to hurt some more buy watching them. And it did, it did hurt some more.

Why was he with her? Why couldn't he wait? I'm always waiting. Always. Just like I waited, waited for him to see me. And he did, but as usual, it was already late.

Smiley sunghoon was gone. Free sunghoon was gone.

He made me like that. He made me want to be free. He made me want to smile. He made me want to laugh. He made me want to wait.

And at the same time, he made me want be closed off. He made my walls go up. He made made me glare and frown. He made me tired of waiting. Now he made me want to cry.

"What the fuck park sunghoon!" I yelled hitting on the tiled wall. I don't understand. I don't understand a thing.

What's all this emotions? Why do I feel them? why is lee fucking heeseung the cause? why does seeing him with that girl and why is it relieving that he thought wonyoung was my girlfriend?

I chuckled, finally. Some clear feelings. It's funny that he thought wonyoung is my girlfriend. I cant remember a last time a girl attracted me, or talk more of having a girl friend. 

I'm too busy for all that. I am too busy for feelings, emotions, and even friendship. Heeseung should just return to whatever hole he crawled out from. 

Speaking of busy... I finished up showering. Got dressed and headed downstairs with my empty coffee mug. my mother was no longer in the kitchen. 

I washed my cup placing it back on its spot and opened the fridge, taking notes of all the empty spots and what's supposed to be occupying it.

"Bye mom." I shouted into the house, going out and shutting the door behind me. 

My eyes drifted to the neighbors house and I noticed that heeseung's ferrari was present. He must be alone. I scolded myself for thinking about him and with one last huff, I walked away. 

I was forty minutes early for work. I worked at a moving company. More like loading to me. All I did was load, every, all and any kind of things into trucks, lorries and any big, giant vehicles. 

It wasn't an easy job. The loading never stopped and the things could be very heavy sometimes. But I am lucky. I am lucky to score a job like this. 

The guy who hired me said its not a job given to high schoolers. He, however, gave me because I saved his dog's life.

The manager's dog almost got hit by a car and I saved it, not my greatest heroic act but eh, it scored me a job and that's all that matters. I only get to work in the weekends and the pay is not that bad. 

Yes, I deal with muscle pulls, strained body and others but it's the money that counts. If I ever want to get rid of my step farther and go into college, then I need money. Lot's of it. 

_____

weeesshhh..

have a great day 🦋💗

- Jay's side crush -