Does the Sun Fall? (COMPLETED)

Chapter 22

TW: Mention of Abortion and Suicide ahead.

Just think about being alone again.

Think it. . .

People says that being alone is best for a person, but unlike me. . . as someone who was born and raised being alone was quite against to that. Yes, in order to understand and know yourself first; you needed to be alone.

But we all know that it was just for a moment of silence and being alone, hindi 'yun magpakailanman katulad ng sa akin.

I crave love, feel love, and to be loved.

Maybe if my mother treat me right and just, I will never doubt the world being unfair to me. I want to be the person that full of light and sunshine, I wanna be something that will never be affected of cruelty in this world.

Humigpit ang pagkakayakap ko sa unan nang maalala ang nakita ng nakaraang mga araw, it was painful and it hurts me a lot. It made me question myself. Did Luke really cheated on me? am I not enough partner to him?

I couldn't even count how many days am I locking myseld inside my room, umuwi ako sa El hamra na sugatan ang puso at bigo sa lahat ng bagay. I almost forgot of having a baby inside of me.

Wala akong pakialam.

How I wish that I could just easily go to the balckhole of our spiral galaxy, mas mabilis at madali maglaho roon dahil wala ng makakapansin at makakakita.

Kahit ngayon lang. Sana naman tumigil din ang mundo sa akin. I am hurt, totoo 'yan. I am hurt to fact that I am alone again, na nawala ko ulit ang taong nagpapasaya sa akin.

I lost everything. I lost my home.

It suddenly scare me like how people date for months, and years then also become part of each other's daily routines. And just suddenly broke up and walk past each other like strangers again.

Ba't kailangan masaktan?

Nang makaramdam ako ng kaunting sakit sa tiyan ay hindi ko mapigilang mapasinghap, ilang araw na rin ako na walang kain. I just feel like not eating.

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, sumuko nan rin ako nang hindi na mapigilan ang gutom. And when my foot stepped the cold floor, I couldn't help but wipes my tears.

It just felt like I am alive.

Pumunta ako sa kusina para kumuha ng mainit na tubig para sa cup noddles, kaagad ko ring binuhay ang tv sa loob ng bahay magkaingay din ang bahay.

The lights were off, wala akong gana na i-turn on ang mga ito. I just wanted to listen to something and distract myself, wala rin naman kasi akong phone na magagamit.

Nawala ko ito sa bahay nila mommy at tito, sigurado akong naiwan ko iyon kung saan. Wala rin naman kasi sa loob ng bag ko o kahit na anong lalagyan ng mga gamit ko rito.

"What can you say about your marriage now, sir?"

Napaangat ako ng tingin sa screen ng tv dahil sa narinig, it was a news report here in El hamra! nasa Cebu Channel pala ako ngayon.

The man in the screen was sitting comfortably in the chair, I assume that he was inside his office because of the plain white background of it, may mga libro din kasi sa gilid.

He was smiling widely in the camera, like he never did something to me in that night. Unti-unting namuo ang galit sa loob ng dibdib ko, how the fuck can he face everyone behind the evil facade of him!

"I am really happy and greatful to have the most wise and smart lady with me, I know that she can help me in this field. All I could say is that this marriage is really golden and important to me. So expect our company to expand for more because I have the best woman behind every success." Aniya, natutuwa pa nitong pinakita ang picture ni mommy sa table niya.