Childhood Crushes

Chapter Ten - Abused Penut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

Chapter Ten - Abused Penut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

Even though when I said 'I want to live in the city with Momma' I was just upset, I meant it. I stuck to my guns for the next two days. Billy stayed home with me and tried to talk me out of it.
Today, he made lunch for the two of us; penut butter and jelly sandwiches with milk and cookies. We sat down together and ate in silence. This was probably the first time I haven't thought about when Ashley broke my necklace and Harry hurt me.
Billy smiled at me from across the table, and I smiled back with my jelly covered mouth. I knew Billy just stayed home from work because Daddy asked him to, thinking Billy could convince me everything was okay, but I still liked hanging out with my big brother for the past two days. We even rode horses yesterday; something we haven't done together in ages.
"So, Silly Belly." He said. I looked up with bright eyes; what did we have planned for today? "Have you thought anymore about home schooling?"
My smile dropped when he said that. I just shook my head and started picking crumbs off of my sandwich. Why did we have to talk about this again...
"I could teach you, you know. Daddy could too. And it's really cool; we could go on field trips 'nd stuff." He smiled, going on about the stuff we could do. "And you could learn about stuff you wanna learn about! Not all that borin' stuff about...dirt? What do they teach you that you hate?" He asked.
I stabbed my finger into the middle of the ooey gooey penut butter and jelly. "Math."
"Oh...well, I hate math too. But you still gotta learn it. How else you gotta know how much to feed three horses, but one is on a diet, one has a club foot, the other has a lazy eye, and they all gotta eat different things and-"
I couldn't help but laugh at this, "What does a club foot or a lazy eye have to do with how much they eat, Billy?"
He smiled at me, his blue eyes twinkling at me. "Well you never know. Maybe they're picky."
I shrugged, "Okay, I'll still learn math."
"So you wanna home school? I could be here with ya." He smiled hopefully, brightening up after I said that.
Thinking about it for a minute, I shook my head. "No. I wanna go to the city where no one knows me. I wanna be new."
Billy's smile faded and turned into a frown, "You know, there's nothin' wrong with you. Nothing at all, Silly Belly. We all love you for who you are. What about me, Daddy, Joel and Jimmy? Do you know how much we'd miss you?"
I nodded. I had thought about that, and I would miss them a lot too. But they could come to the city and see me sometimes. They'd like the city, I think. "We could do visits." I shrugged.
"But it's not the same as seein' you everyday." His voice got lower. I could see the sadness in his eyes, but I didn't look in them. I knew he was sad - I was sad too, but I didn't want to show him. I wanted to stick to my guns. "What about Bale, Billy B. and Michael?" He added, folding his arms and leaning back with a smug grin, thinking he got me.
This made me sad.
I frowned and shook my head, "They're mad at me."
"Why are they mad at you?"
"Because they hate Harry Lyttle - and they were right to! I was stupid to think he liked me. When Ashley broke my necklace and called me that word, he didn't do anything! He just shrugged and walked away - HOLDING HER HAND!" Little tears began to fall from my eyes. "Bale and the boys tried to stop me from asking Harry to the dance... I should have listened. I was so stupid!" I stood up and stomped all the way up to my room, closing my door and laying on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling and played out the other day in my mind.
My suitcase was still packed. Though, over the past couple of days I packed it a bit smarter. The first time I packed it, I had a winter coat, rain boots, swim suit and goggles... I don't know where I'd wear that, but I'm not going there. Now it had some shirts, a pair of jeans and shorts, flat shoes, flip flops, my cowgirl boots and a picture of me petting Juliet when I got her.

Billy left me alone for the rest of the day, only coming to get me when we had to go pick up Jimmy and Joel from school. Everyone was quiet and kind of sad, even me. After talking today, Billy had called Daddy and told him I wasn't giving up. They all knew how hardheaded I could be, and knew there was no point in fighting me anymore.
I'd go to live with Momma next week...