"i knew.." | MORBY

you'll never look at me the same

mordecai's pov

i sit on my bed on my phone, rigby doing the same on his.

we haven't talked much today, but he's tried to convince me he's fine.

i haven't brought up the blood, he changed out of that shirt as soon as he came back into the room. well, he grabbed a hoodie and left the room to change into it.

he definitely cut himself. but why?

i'm scared for him, what has him like this?? it only started a few weeks ago, but it's been worse the past like week.

my thoughts were interrupted by rigby asking if we can try this 'new mixed drink' he found online. it was basically a shirley temple with vodka.

"dude i don't wanna drink again i feel like i'm still recovering from tuesday" i tell him. "pshh come on, that was what, three days ago? come on i won't put alot in yours, or mine, i just wanna try it. it looks good"

i look at him with squinted eyes.

"i feel like we should have a bro-night, we haven't in awhile and it's obvious. we need one, it's overdue. we can just chill inside and hangout. i think it's supposed to start raining soon anyway" he says, ultimately convincing me.

i can't help but smile a bit, he's right. we haven't had a bro-night just us two in a long time. usually muscleman and fives try to join in, and succeed.

which is fine, fives is great, muscleman is.. muscleman.

but it's been like every time be and rigby have had a free night together lately, i'm glad we got a week alone.

although benson and them do get back soon, we still have a few days just us two.

"okay yeah, sure. but seriously, i don't want alot of vodka in mine" i say, chuckling a bit. he smiles. "don't worry, there won't be"

we smile while making eye contact for a few seconds.

he has a really pretty smile.

rigby's pov

me and mordecai smile and make eye contact for a few seconds before i force it to stop by looking down and clearing my throat.

WHY does that keep happening.

"um, it's almost 5 do you wanna go get food somewhere? like mcdonald's or something?" i ask him, trying to evade whatever the fuck that was. my heart's pounding.

"sure, can i shower first? i'll be quick i promise" "yeah of course" i tell him before he gets up from his bed to grab a change of clothes.

i showered earlier. i'm just gonna wear what i have on, a light brown hoodie and black sweatpants.

i had to put bandages on my arm because of last night. my cuts WOULD NOT stop bleeding. they still bled when i looked at them earlier this morning.

and outfit wise, i'll just throw my crocs on, we're going to mcdonald's who cares.

mordecai goes to shower and i put my jewelry on. fuck. i'm scared for later tonight..

how do i even tell him?? 'hey, i've been wanting you to fuck my brains out since sophomore year of highschool. how's your shirley temple?' like literally what do i SAY TO HIM.

and afterwards??? it's gonna be so awkward ughhhhh. i'm gonna have to put like half vodka in my drink later.

fuck i better eat alot of mcdonald's, i hope i don't puke it back up cause it's too much. i just really don't wanna puke later and/or be too hungover tomorrow.