the way i loved you.

chapter eighteen - haunted

"can't breathe whenever you're gone."
- taylor swift

My heart soared with joy as I recalled Jason's heartfelt words from the night before. Filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness, I couldn't wait to share the excitement with him. The next day, I hopped into my mom's car, humming a tune of bliss as I drove to his house.

However, as I parked the car and approached Jason's front door, an uneasy feeling crept over me. I sensed an unusual quietness, a departure from the warmth I had expected. I hesitated before knocking, and when the door swung open, I found Jason surrounded by suitcases.

My eyes widened in disbelief. "Jason, what's going on?" I asked, my voice laced with concern.

He looked up, a mixture of surprise and sadness in his eyes. "Astoria, we need to talk."

Her elation from moments ago dissolved into confusion, desperately seeking answers in the eyes of the man I thought loved me.

I walked into the house and slammed the door behind me in frustration. The room echoed with the slamming of the door, and my voice quivered as I asked, "Jace, What's going on?"

He didn't look at me, his jaw clenched in frustration. "I can't do this anymore, Astoria. I need space."

My eyes welled up with tears as confusion turned into anger. "Space? After everything we've been through? You owe me an explanation!"

Jace's gaze flickered, but he remained stoic. "I can't explain, Astoria. It's just something I need to do."

My eyes, once filled with adoration, were now ablaze with frustration and hurt. Jason's jaw clenched as he struggled to articulate the emotions that had driven him to this point.

"Why are you doing this, Jason?" My voice wavered, a mix of confusion and desperation. "Just last night, you told me you loved me. What changed overnight?"

Jason sighed, a heavy weight on his shoulders. "Astoria, it's not about you. It's about me, about where I am in my life right now. I need to figure things out, and I can't do that while being in a relationship."

My disbelief turned into anger. "So, what, you're just going to run away from us? From me?"

Jason ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his eyes. "This is not about running away. I need space to find myself, to understand what I want."

The room filled with a tense silence as I absorbed his words, tears glistening in my eyes. "You can't just leave like this, Jason. We're a team. Talk to me. Let's figure it out together."

Jason's resolve wavered for a moment, but he shook his head. "I can't, Astoria. I need time, and I can't ask you to wait for me."

The words hung in the air, a painful acknowledgment of our unraveling connection.

Fury ignited within me, and I crossed my arms defiantly. "You can't just walk away without telling me why! We promised to face everything together!"

He sighed but i could see his resolve wavering. "It's complicated. I can't burden you with this."

My voice started to rise, desperation mingling with anger. "Burden me? We're supposed to share our burdens, Jace. You're breaking your promise!"

Jace's eyes flashed with frustration. "This is for the best, Astoria. Trust me."

My patience shattered, and I advanced, my emotions bubbling over. "Trust you? How can I trust someone who abandons me without a word? If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."

Jace hesitated making my heartache transform into a steely determination. "Make your choice, Jace."

He cast one last pained glance before disappearing through the doorway, leaving me standing alone amidst the shards of our shattered promises.

In the hollowness of Jason's deserted home, my sobs echoed through the empty rooms. I wandered from one familiar space to another, each corner a painful reminder of the love that had seemingly evaporated overnight.

In the living room, I collapsed onto the sofa where we had shared movie nights and whispered promises. The cushions seemed to cradle the heaviness in my chest, amplifying the emptiness that engulfed me. Clutching onto a throw pillow, I buried her face in it, desperately trying to stifle my cries as if silencing the pain within.

The hallway, once adorned with framed memories of our adventures, now felt like a corridor of lost dreams. I traced my fingers over the photographs, tears blurring the images of happier times. The very walls seemed to absorb my grief, holding the echoes of laughter that had once resonated within.

In the bedroom, I stood before the closet that still held the scent of Jason's cologne. A fragile smile flickered on my lips before giving way to fresh tears. I clung to his pillow, inhaling the lingering traces of his presence, as if trying to preserve a fragment of the love that now felt like a distant memory.

My cries reverberated through the empty house, a symphony of heartbreak that painted the air with sorrow. The once vibrant home had transformed into a silent witness to the unraveling of a love story, leaving me to navigate its desolate corridors with nothing but the echoes of my tears.

As I drove back home, the weight of emptiness settled in my chest, making each breath feel like a struggle. When I arrived, Brax sensed my distress and greeted me with a concerned look. Without a word, I collapsed into his arms, the dam holding back my tears finally breaking.

Brax held me tenderly, offering a comforting embrace as I poured out the pain that had been building inside me. He gently wiped away my tears, understanding the depth of my heartache without needing words. In the solace of his arms, I found refuge from the storm of emotions that raged within me.

Softly, Brax spoke, his voice a balm to my wounded spirit. "I'm here for you, Astoria. You're not alone. Sometimes life takes unexpected turns, but you're strong, and I believe you'll find your way through this."

In that moment, I clung to the reassurance in Brax's words, grateful for the unwavering support that enveloped me in the midst of my shattered world.