𝗈𐓣౿: ᴅₒ ᵧₒᵤ ᵣₑₘₑₘ♭ₑᵣ 𝑤ₕₑₙ ᵧₒᵤ ₗₒᵥₑ𝓭 ₘₑ ₒₙ𝓬ₑ?

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P R O L O G U E


"Just stay with me a minute, I swear I'll make it worth it. Just one last time, and I'll promise to let you go."

"And I know she gives you everything, but I got nothing here without you."

"Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart. I'll forever be under your spell, your spell of love. 'Cause I can't live without ya." I confessed as I looked into his hazel brown eyes.


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billie


Breaking up with Jesse was the biggest fucking mistake of my life. We're still homies, according to him, but who said it would be the same? How the fuck did we screw this up? All the time, I wish he'd take me back. I'd rather be in hell without him.

It's much too late now. He has already found someone else, after hooking up with several girls. But who am I to be angry at that? He deserves someone way better than this bitch here. Perhaps I would say someone like Gabriette. I've never met her in person before, but the way Jesse always talks about her gets me jealous as fuck. It's obvious as hell that he loves her and only her, while I'm just a living corpse to him. Forgotten, like a faded photograph.

Now we're getting to a total bitch's point. Matthew. Tyler. Vorce.

He doesn't love me no more, only sees me as his toy, his fucking possession. A psychopath who won't let me run. How I wish I could escape from this hell and somehow find my way back to Jesse. He is they one and only one who ever made me feel alive, in terms of sexual desires and the way he actually cares about me. Even after all these years, he is still the one who haunts my dreams.

Matthew has no love for me, only cruelty. He treats me like an object, a thing that he owns. He is such a madman who traps me in his web. I long to break free from this nightmare and run into Jesse's arms. He is the one that understood me from A-Z.

He loves me not, loves me never. Uses me like a tool, a puppet that he controls. He is a lunatic who chains me to his side. I yearn to flee from this horror and fly to Jesse's embrace. He is the only one who ever cared for me.

I was at Crossroads, all the memories hit me. Forgotten Memories. Where our love started and had ended with a date. I watched him interact with his wife and daughter, feeling a surge of emotions. He looked so happy, perfect. I didn't want to intrude, so I remained at my seat, my sight never leaving them.

We had been together for about 9 months, but we broke up. We decided to remain good friends but boy, it's damn hard. Hard to see him with someone else who wasn't me.

He married Gabriette, a model and had a daughter, Mila. They were beautiful, happy and were his family. I was absolutely nothing, I was just Billie. Billie Eilish, a person who had just graduated and yeah I own a lawyer's degree.

I'm currently with Matthew, and actor, who treats me like shit. I knew I shouldn't have give him another chance. He doesn't love me, so automatically doesn't give a fuck about me. Tjat selfish ass bitch inly wants me for what I could give him. Sex.

"Come on, let's go. We have some shit to attend. You don't want to miss it now, do you?" He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

I shook my head, forcing a smile. I followed him, leaving my thoughts of Jesse behind.

Miserable fucking life!

We got in the car and Matthew started it as we headed to our limousine. I was wearing a black hoodie and some green cargo-pants. Matthew glanced at me and frowned. "What you wearing? You're not chilling your ass at home bitch. We're going to my friend's party and how the hell do you expect me to introduce you as my girlfriend with you dressed like that. Change now!" He shouted, throwing a skimpy dress and a pair of heels at me.

My ears burned and eyes watered. I hated this. Hated him. Hated everything


I changed into the dress and those heels. I felt so exposed, vulnerable just so not me. I wanted to wear something comfortable, something that didn't suffocate me like the 2021 Met Gala corset I wore. I got to attend it just because of Matthew.

He only cares about himself, his image, his reputation. He looked at me and smiled. "Now that's more like it." He smirked, grabbing my waist and pulled me closer to him.

I buried my face in his chest, holding back my tears. I fucking hated it but I had no choice left. He lifted my chin, and kissed my cheek. "See, you look great baby! C'mon let's go." I was bursting out of anger on the inside as we got in the limousine.

We arrived at the party, and Matthew dragged me out of the limo as he wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to the entrance. He flashed his smile, and greeted his friends. Their eyes were glued onto me.

Feel like a doll, a trophy, as if I'm a fuckin' sex toy. I had to stay, had to fake smile.

I saw him across the room. He was talking to someone, laughing. He looked so handsome, that charm he has. He's Jesse, but not my Jesse anymore.

He noticed me and smiled. I glanced at Matthew and as usual, he was flirting with some other girls, touching them.

Jesse excused himself and walked to my direction. I felt someone touch my arm and he spoke to me.

"Hey. 'Sup Bil?"

I looked at him a spark of hope, glimpse of happiness.

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could, Matthew interrupted. The devil's presence.

"Hey man. Long time no see. How are ya?"

I watched him as his face hardened, trying his best not beat the shit out of Matthew. He didn't do anything 'cause I got back with Matthew. I had never told him about how abusive Matthew is. For all I know, Jesse's mood is soured.

"I'm fine. You?"

He looked at me and his eyes softened.

"Mhm."

We looked into each other's eyes and remembered the past, present, the love we used to share, the pain we went through and finally our broken relationship.

I wish I could turn back time. Well, that can never happen, can't it?

Matthew looked drunk as fuck. Shit. He's gonna be forcing me into things tonight. Jesse was such a softie and never bared to hurt me. He actually cared, loved me truly. True love.

I gazed into his eyes, but we said nothing. But we said everything.


I still wanted to ask him 'Do you remember when you loved me once?"




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