LACUNA - (Intersex: ProfxStud)

LACUNA - XXXVII

Heart Eiffel's POV 
Nakakuha ako ng message mula kay Florence na dinala na nila si Hera sa hospital. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at laking pasasalamat ko sa tulong niya. 

Hinayaan ko na ang mga alagad ko na gawin ang gusto nila kay Felize, but I told them not to kill her. Hindi pa'ko tapos sa babaeng iyun. She caused my wife harm, so hahayaan ko siyang magisa sa sarili niyang mantika.

Agad akong nagtungo sa ospital at doon ko nakita si Florence na tulog habang nasa waiting room. I'm feel kinda guilty dahil nabulabog ko pa siya. But it's my wife we're talking about.

I will take every people and ally I have just to get her back in my arms. Even if it meant causing destruction to this planet.

I may sound like a villain but Hera is everything to me. She was the one who patched my lacuna. I can't bear losing her, not even a single minute.

Hindi ko na ginising si Florence dahil alam kong pagod ito. Lumipas ang ilang minuto ay lumabas na rin ang doctor mula sa emergency room.

"The family of the patient?" Tanong niya. Agad akong lumapit at sumagot. "I'm her wife" tumango naman ang doctor at nagsimula na siyang magexplain.

"You're wife is now stable, but she suffered a miscarriage. We want your pemission to perform a cesarean on her" naramdaman ko ang pagbagsak ng aking buong kalamnan at ang pag ka durog ng aking puso. 

"So our daughter is dead?" Naiiyak na tanong ko. "Yes, ma'am. Due to severe stress and the violence your wife endured ay hindi na nakayanan pa ng placenta na kumapit pa sa matres ng inyong asawa" tumango tango nalang ako sa sinabi ng doctor.

"Ok doc, perform the operation on my wife. Do anything to save her" ngumiti ng malungkot ang doctor saakin at tumango ng huling beses bago umalis.

Umupo ako sa tabi ni Florence at hindi na hinayaan ang sarili kong umiyak. This all their fault! Kasalanan ito ni Felize! Those men! I swear I take every bit of what Felize and those men took from my wife. Hindi ako papayag na hindi niya mararamdaman ang galit ko!

Sumandal ako at binaliwala nalang ang mga luhang patuloy na dumadaloy sa mga pisngi ko.

I lost my daughter. I almost lost my wife. I can't bear losing them both. Hindi ko kakayanin.

It took almost 17 hours nang dumating na yung surgeon. Pinauwi ko na si Florence earlier nang magising ito. Ayaw ko naman mas pagurin pa ang friend ko, besides she deserve that. She's been studying non stop and after this break ay magstart na sila maging student teachers.

She's older than me for a year but I have always been proud of her. Including Sasha and Connor. The three of them took the same courses in Herbertia National University. I wanted to study there, unfortunately it's a bit too far from our home.

And I also didn't have it in me to take college of education. Masyadong hustle and wala akong pasensya to deal with those immature and annoying students. Baka mamaya instead of teaching them ay mahampas ko sila isa isa ng dos por dos.

I really admire my wife and patience with handling us. Especially me, masyado akong palaaway at lapitan ako ng gulo.

Anyways back to our real topic.

Nilapitan ko si doc at hinintay ang balita niya. "Your wife is now in a stable condition. We got your daughter, unfortunately we cannot revive her. By the looks of it, she's been dead for more than 24 hours. I'm sorry for your loss, Ms. Santorio. Your wife will be transferred in a private room then we will just wait 'til she wakes up" nagpasalamat nalang ako at umalis na rin siya kaagad. 

I'm to devastated with my wife's state, now I'm in despair upon hearing I have lost my daughter. I'm glad Hera is ok, but I can't help but feel the uneasiness and lassitude wrap my now broken soul.

Why does this have to happen? Is it really my fault I put our family in danger? My wife is severely hurt, she suffered from miscarriage and my daughter died inside my wife's womb.

It feels like it's my fault, the cause of this ravage is me, even if the fact is so obvious that the cause of this chaotic scene was the woman who's been obsessed with me for a long time. Even if it's her, it still felt like this all my fault. 

I failed to protect them. I failed to protect my family. I'm the worst wife and I can't even be a good mother to my unborn daughter. I feel like I'm the epitome of a failed mother and wife. I'm so pathetic and terrible.

The guilt is consuming me too much. I can already sense I will be having a hard time facing my wife. When I see her weak state, it won't even take a minute for the guilt to wrap around shattered entirety.

I heaved a sigh at napagdesisyonan ng pumunta sa kwarto niya. Andun na sina Nanay Helen and my moms. Hinila ako papalabas at niyakap ako ni Mama Reyanna and I let myself fall into her embrace.

"I'm so sorry, mama!" Hagulgol ko sakaniya. "I failed. I let my wife suffer and I didn't protect my daughter. I'm so sorry!" She just hugged me while she let me rant and cry.

"It's not your fault, anak. Wala kang kasalanan dito. You did your best and you did not fail as a wife. You protected them well enough, anak. Mayroon lang talagang oras na hindi mo magagawa ang lahat para masalba ang lahat, but that doesn't mean kasalanan mo na iyun at wala ka ng ginawa. You've done enough, wala kang kasalanan, the three of you are victims of these case. Stop blaming yourself, Heart. Ilixie loves you so much, I know she won't like it if you let yourself be consumed by the unfair guilt" saad ni mama.

Yakap yakap niya lang ako  hanggang sa tumahan ako sa pagiyak. Siya na rin ang nagpunas ng mga luha ko. Gosh, I don't know what I'd do if I don't have my Mama Reyanna with me. Between her and Mommy Rezilda, si Mama Reyanna talaga ang mas magaling sa ganto.

Siya ang nagpapatahan at nagbibigay saamin ni Evan ng deep and meaningful talk. She's the mother whom we can talk to about anything.

Meanwhile, Mommy Rezilda naman is the adventurous one. She's the mother who we can ask anything for that involves adventures and she will gladly join us.

There's a massive difference between our parents but still, they manage to raise us despite their difference. We both love them equally and Evander and I are so grateful na sila ang naging mama and mommy namin.

I stayed with my mama until I'm ready to face my wife. I hope she's already awake. I miss her and I missed her delicate touch. I wanna hold her back in my arms again and make her feel how worthy she is as my wife.

I never cared for Felize she's annoying. In this lifetime Hera is the only woman I love, loved and will always love. She's my person, my wife and my only woman. No one else.