D for Depression [ On Hold ]

A thank you note, the Update and the 340k Reads

Alexa play Escapism cause I am feeling dramatic.

Not quite sure how I ended up here to be honest. I guess putting my favorite asmr playing in the background while I stared at my laptop was the start. And then type-delete-type-delete for about ten minutes, before I gave up ready to shut it down and carry on like I did for the past year and a half.

The amount of times I stared on the screen during a Sunday morning ready to have the first sip of my coffee and just let myself indulge in the writing process of this book is probably embarrassing to admit. Yet completely true and utterly disappointing. Because for some reason I couldn't get it together. And I don't know why. I mean I sort of do.

I got the ick with my own story.

While my laptop was unavailable for me to write, I started re-reading my book like a casual reader would do. And it felt like the type of story I, as a reader, would eventually end up hating. The beginning seemed weird, the grammar mistakes, the use of the word Joker...I honestly just wanted to take it down and start something new.

But then I saw the chapters that I loved creating, the way my own writing style evolved and it just felt wrong to delete something that I actually feel proud of. Because I do feel proud of this.

D for Depression started as an escape during a very dark time in my life and now that I have finally put it behind me I feel like I own this story a proper ending.

I don't want to leave it in the middle just because I have moved on from that phase. For a while it really felt like I was stepping back to that darkness every time I tried to write a new chapter. It was a fear of mine. Maybe because this book is heavily connected with that part of me. But now I see it as an opportunity to reclaim what this book means and make it a part of the new life I am living. And I am not going to lie.

It feels good.

A huge thank you to everyone who has been following my story. I don't know if there are many of you left, considering the lack of content, but even if it is just one person, I appreciate you.

340k reads sound insane.

I hope it continues to grow while I am putting out more work, because it is a part of my list for 2024. More writing, a new book and hopefully a great ending for Daphne and Jackson. Whatever that means.

I have already planned the new chapter and I am thinking of releasing it by the end of February. So if anyone wants to refresh the story, there is a RECAP already up and only two chapters to catch up after it.

See you soon. 

Yep I saw Poor Things and it was crazy (good).